Friday, June 18, 2010

WILL HE KILL-High Conflict-Custody, Divorce Domestic Violence

WILL HE KILL
New information to help identify higher risk
cases   [note]

More -- Why He Kills and Can he be stopped?
RESEARCH

NEW: JUNE 2009 -- Dept. Justice Report: Practical Implications of Domestic Violence Research for Law Enforcement, Prosecutors and Judges

According to research by Katherine van Wormer, Professor of Social Work at the University of Northern Iowa, certain patterns have emerged in cases in which men have ended up murdering their spouses and/or children or others, as well as in the common "murder-suicide" cases (the below excludes elder murder-suicides, which have a different dynamic). The presence of some of these factors should create extra caution. (The lack of all factors being present, however, should not be taken to indicate the absence of risk.) The statistics and statistical charts are available at http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/intimate/overview.htm Prof. Wormer writes:

The pattern that emerges in these cases involves intimate partners in the 20 to 35-year-old range: The man is abusive, psychologically and/or physically. Obsessed with the woman to the extent that he feels he can't live without her, he is fiercely jealous and determined to isolate her... Primary among the risk factors are an abuser's lack of employment compounded by a lack of education. Significant relationship variables are plans by the wife or partner to separate from her abuser and having a child in the home who is not the partner's biological child.
        Other factors that can help predict homicide are an abuser's heavy use of alcohol and illicit drugs, a history of sexual jealousy, growing up in a violent home, violence and verbal abuse, an age disparity with the husband being significantly older, a threat of separation by the woman, and antisocial personality and/or an overly dependent personality, stalking and access to firearms. Threats of use of a weapon were common in these cases... The key distinguishing factor between this and the more usual form of domestic homicide is the presence of depression and suicidal ideation.
        Characteristically, suicidal murderers have little regard for the lives of other people; they would be considered, in mental health jargon, to be antisocial. Yet they are so emotionally dependent on their wives or girlfriends that they would sooner be dead than to live without them. When the girlfriend/wife makes a move to leave, her partner is absolutely distraught in the belief that he can't live without her.

The State of Maryland has instituted a Lethality Assessment (download) Program (LAP) in many of its counties that has been having some success. The success may be because the questions are asked, rather than the assumption being made that the significance of risk factors will be known to the complainant and the information thus volunteered. An assessment tool was created by Johns Hopkins University nursing professor Jacquelyn C. Campbell; it is debatable whether this can or should be used in court "as" an assessment tool. (Read more about this in the Maryland Daily Record, 10/13/08.)

High risk factors:

The alleged abuser is male. Statistically, more than 90% of murder-suicide cases are perpetrated by men against women.

The parties were married or a close equivalent. Statistically, most of these cases involve the man's perceived loss of family and home, however in recent years, formal marriage as a factor has been declining.

The man is significantly older than the woman. Statistically in these cases, the male perpetrator averages 6.3 years older than a female victim; the woman is in the 20 to 35-year-old range.

The woman has made the decision to leave the man; there is a threat of separation even if it has not yet occurred. Note: the lack of a family support system, wife or significant other, coupled with a recent family loss (death, divorce), are indicators for suicide in a depressed person, and suicidal depression is a risk factor for murder-suicide.

The woman has a child in the home who is not the man's biological child. This may be related to sexual jealousy. (A significant portion of cases do not fit this pattern, however, so again, caution should be taken that the absence of a risk factor does not create unwarranted perception of lesser risk. Not enough is known about weighting the various factors under different circumstances.)

The man has had depressed episodes or suicide ideation, or currently is depressed. Statistically (as we might guess), depression is more likely to be present in murder-suicide cases than in the cases of murder without the perpetrator's suicide. Of particular note, the man has made threats to kill either himself or the woman or children.

There is a history of physical abuse, particularly choking. For this purpose "history" should not be limited to adjudicated history, or any other "history that has come to the attention of authorities." In too many of the news articles we read, the neighbors and friends express "surprise".

There is a history alleged of psychological abuse. Of particular note are attempts at controlling behaviors and sexual jealousy, even without demonstrable physical abuse (verbal abuse, accusations, spying, stalking).

The man is unemployed or under-employed, chronically or recent job loss or reversal.

The man has abused alcohol (drunk episodes, not necessarily diagnosed alcoholic), or used illegal drugs.

The man has or can get access to a hand gun.

Also see: More -- WHY HE KILLS


NOTE: Citation to the social work website and assessment tool is NOT an endorsement or recommendation by thelizlibrary.org for judges to hire forensic psychologists, social workers, or custody evaluators to provide "risk assessments". There is no instrument or expert who can provide a risk assessment to any "reasonable degree of scientific certainty" (e.g. see Baerger, 2001; Bednar, R., Bednar, S., Lambert, M., & Waite, D., 1991; Otto, 1992). One more time: Mental health professionals canNOT predict who will or will not be dangerous or when, and for this reason their opinions should not be permitted to substitute for those of potential victims and protective parents. No mental health professional can say that a person is "not dangerous". Nowhere in the research literature is there any documentation that clinicians can predict dangerous behavior beyond the level of chance. (Stromberg et al., 1988, p. 522). Rather, the information provided on this webpage can and should be used directly by judges in weighing testimony and evidence in court. Judges must take seriously the concerns of immediate family members and potential victims, and in cases of doubt, must err on the side of caution. It does not require expertise to apply common sense. (Yes, this is profiling, and sorry, there are no crystal balls.)  RETURN TO TEXT


Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Peterson Case: "Dancing With Possums"

from Susan Murphy-Milano’s Journal

“Two Possum families finally have closure” quoted by none other than my favorite "legal marshmallow roaster" leading the 5 person defense team in the upcoming Drew Petersontrial, in an article about the recent search in Peoria, Illinois, written by Fatal Vows Author and journalist Joe Hosey.

If you recall, both Peterson and his legal marshmallow roaster did a public relationsdance in the media when the so called letter was received claiming Stacy Peterson was “sited.” And I mentioned it in a post back in February of 2008 excerpt below:

Stacy Peterson, wife #4 is still missing. I am wondering why the Illinois State police are not seeing through on the letter Peterson says he received from an unknown person from Peoria, Illinois back in November 12, 2007 who says they spotted "Stacy Peterson at a Kroger grocery store with a pudge." I will bet you anything Drew Peterson is behind this mysterious letter. An abuser always wants to leave a crumb behind ( its a catch me if you can ego trip)and in my opinion this mystery letter, is no mystery at all , if it's postmarked, this should lead police to where Stacy was buried. Isn't Drew's favorite show C.S.I. anyway? Or was this done by someone else in an old case he once worked on in the early days of his career? You can read that post HERE

It was discussed on my Monday Evening radio show that aired on the Kathleen Saviocase with the Cold Case Institute Director, Sheryl McCullom ,who strongly suggested that the “prosecutors need to tear down the case and start over.” We both agreedPeterson was likely behind that letter he supposedly received shortly after Stacy vanished. I meant the one Peterson turned over, of course, to his counsel who then made it public for several weeks of play in the media.

While the legal marshmallow roaster and his team decides what color fonts they want on that impending Google Internet site, sending a team to Peoria was a brilliant move on the part of Investigators.

If you consider that during the 18 months (prior to his arrest) Peterson was a free man, not once did this piece of repulsive hot air bag go out and look for his missing wife, Stacy. A person, in my opinion of course, is not able to look for something, or in this case, someone, if they are not able to be found because it is not possible. If you remember, this grieving husband and father, (get out the box of Kleenex everyone), dated other women, trolled Internet sites and got engaged. Wow, now there is a reality television show in the making. Perhaps we can ask Bruce Beresford-Redman (former producer of the show Survivor) to be the producer. You remember him, he is the guy who took his wife on a second honeymoon to Mexico and she was founddead in a sewage drain.

Back to the insensitive remarks of the legal marshmallow roaster who has been known to spit out coffee on a computer screen from time to time. "For those two possum families, they at least received closure." Sadly, it is more than the 4 children of thesetwo women Kathleen Savio and Stacy Peterson received, wouldn’t you agree?

[Head over to Women and Crime Ink to read my latest post on the Christopher Vaughn case "Claiming Bloody Innocence" another tragic case awaiting trial also in Will County, IL]

at 01:08 0 comments Links to this post

Labels: CNN News, Drew Peterson, Geraldo, Oprah, Orders of Protection, Stacy Peterson, Will County Illinois

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Covering Up Murder Attempts In Williamsburg, VA -Times UP! Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit

Who Is Covering Up Murder Attempts In Williamsburg, VA

This story was passed to me with a note asking me to post it in its entirety. I am also adding the tools below:

1. Do a Evidentiary Abuse affidavit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9uGnrtwK3Q

2. and get Times Up!! How you can escape a violent relationship and get out with your life. By Domestic Violence Expert Susan Murphy- Milnao

Who Is Covering Up Murder Attempts In Williamsburg, VA

By:  Gail Lakritz

I have been told that Joseph Lakritz is being protected by someone higher up. Three policemen have confirmed that this is what is happening, and that is why a convinced felon can get away with so much. The Virginia Gazette published an article stating that an officer of the law informed them that the local family court judge, Judge George (Jeff) C. Fairbanks dictates who can and cannot be arrested in October, 2007. He is the former Commonwealth's Attorney, and as such, had control over prosecutions. I have spoken to one woman who was raped while he was the CA. He never brought the case to trial and waited until he was appointed judge (1 and 1/2 years) to inform her that there would be no prosecution.

Judge Fairbanks set up the Victims and Advocates Office within the CA's office. When a battered woman goes there with evidence of the battering, it is never seen again. Judge Fairbanks works with the parole department[i] and with Ann Tramer, the "counselor" who didfamily therapy which my ex and son went to but I was never informed of and who, at the time my son was seeing her, only had a masters, not her doctorate, yet she was allowed to practice. In addition, she was seeing him at the same time as Loren Council, who saw Joseph for Anger Management at Colonial Services (ordered by Judge Fairbanks) after he threatened to kill me. Mt. Council saw Joe in September, 2005 for 6 weeks in a group. He began seeing Max in March, 2006 or there about as supposedly ordered by Fairbanks, but I never heard the judge order this in the court. I tried to get the transcript of the hearing where it was supposedly ordered, but DuBois who supposedly did them, told me that they did not. Of course, I have the proof they did.

I bought a home in the summer of 2006. Just prior to moving, while living in an apartment on Merrimac Trail in Williamsburg, I began having break ins. There were 4 in total while I lived there. The Williamsburg police refuse to give me the reports that I filed. They say that they are still open investigations and will not release them to me. I reported 3 of the 4. My attorney, Tracy Spencer of Batzali Woods in Richmond told me to stop calling them, and I, thinking that she knew something I didn't, I took her advice. Each time my home was broken into, there was something left behind to let me know someone was there. The first time, I found a stick of incense which I have never used due to the fact that I cannot stand the odor. That time, my file cabinet where I kept the evidence against Joe was broken into and papers were taken, but nothing else of value was missing.

On May 12, 2006, we had an appointment for Barbara Levine of Prudential to view the house and sign the listing agreements. She was leaving town for a holiday, and this was the only time she could do this. Joe had allowed the sale listing of the house expire and made no attempt to relist it. I arrived at the house a few minutes before Barbara. There was a severe thunderstorm. The garage door was open, and I knocked on it. Joe answered and at first let me into the laundry room. From that room, you can only see a small portion of the kitchen, not the rest of the house. His mother, Dorothy L. Lakritz of Boynton Beach, Fl. came from around the corner that is the family room yelling "This is our house. Get out you whore." I had no idea that she was there. Joe ordered Max to "grab her, I can't or I will go back to jail." Max took me by the arms and slammed me up against the door. Dorothy grabbed my throat and began to choke me. When the gurgling began from my air being cut off, for some reason, she let go. I tried to get to the phone on the kitchen counter, but Joe ripped it out of the wall. I fled to my car for my phone. I first called my lawyer, Tracy. I remember that I called her office twice. I was confused and in pain after the attack and did not know what to do. It took me a few minutes to think and call the police. As it turns out, Dorothy, after the lapse of a few minutes, also called the police, but not before placing a call to someone else. ( See photo #1 & #2)

image image

Photo 1                            Photo 2

On the tape of her call, the dispatcher can be heard prompting her to say I broke in through the front door. Max's written statement of the incident clearly said that I was let in through the laundry room. In the tape, Dorothy states that I was there for an appointment. If I had an appointment, why would I have to break in? When the police came, one of the responding officers was the same one who always showed up to the domestic violence calls except one. His name never appeared on any report that involved Joe. He refused to take pictures of me saying he did not have a camera. I let him talk me out of taking the ambulance to the ER. He wasn't even going to call for one until I insisted that I should at least be checked. He said they were needed for car accidents on the highway. I had to drive myself to a doctor's office several miles down Richmond Road. I was later to find out that Dorothy Lakritz testified that she brushed against my neck while defending herself from attack. How do you get a perfect thumb print on one side of the neck and the imprint of 4 fingers on the other side if she only brushed up against me? The police report contained a copy of the doctors report that stated I had injuries consistent with choking. (See photos 4 & 5)

image image

Photo 4                                    Photo 5

There is a full account of everything that I had to go through that night in "A Case Of Attempted Murder", I, II and III.[ii] The rest of what I know was gotten from the police reports and 911 tapes that my lawyer never got. I had to subpoena them 2 years later. While I was forced by Judge pro tempore Ford to give a useless deposition On March 24, 2009, my neighbor saw a car in my driveway that matched the description of an unmarked car belonging to the James City County Police Department. When I arrived home that night, the police reports and 911 recordings were missing. Who do you call when it is most likely a police officer who broke in and stole evidence?

After I moved into my home in August, 2006, there were several break ins here. I called the police on several of them as there were eye witnesses placing Joe on my property at the time of the break ins. After much foot dragging for a year, I finally got the police to come out and do an "investigation". Inspector Bauman was the lead. It turns out that Insp. Bauman is Officer Bauman, not an inspector. They took my computer, along with the hard drive of the marital computer and blitzed evidence that was contained on both of them. They could not find any of my fingerprints in my own home. All fingerprints found were dismissed as having been on the furniture, doors, etc for the last few years. Some of the furniture in my home was never jointly owned with Joe, and he was never in my home with my permission. He refused to take a lie detector test. Insp. Bauman sent me a report, but that report was not included in the reports that were officially given me through the subpoena.

I can produce evidence that shows police reports were falsified. I have witnesses that I was forbidden to have a court reporter in front of Judge Samuel T. Powell. I have witnesses that were present for the lies of Nate Greene, the Commonwealth's Attorney. He said he never said something in court, yet it was reported that he did in the newspaper. This occurred at a meeting with Mr. Greene in reference to the falsified police reports. It was only a few days later that the police reports and 911 tapes were taken.

Yesterday, I found that the back glass door to my home had been blown out with a gun. (See photo #6) Officer Morris said there would be no investigation. I am a sitting duck in my own home, and the police will not even bother going to Walmart to speak to the clerk that said he helped Joe with the purchase of the gun that matches the type used. The police department will not even bother to ask for the records of the sales. Walmart enters the driver's license number for every gun purchaser. I also found, when I tried to call the police, that the phone line had been tampered with. Was someone giving themselves enough time to get away before police could be called?

image

Photo 6

When a person calls for investigation of James City County and Williamsburg VA., they are ignored. If you read the early accounts of what happened to me alone on Gather.com, and speak to ordinary citizens of what has happened to other women here, you would know this is not a safe place for women. I, though they have tried, still retain evidence against them. And a search of the court records of my case and others would show tampering. A search of the sealed juvenile court records would show that the court pays for lawyers for wealthy men and one of Colonial Services Board will disclose that the taxpayers are paying for services that can well be afforded by these men.

Since when is it legal for a "high placed person" to instruct law enforcement to ignore death threats and attempts at killing? I think that constitutes being an accessory. How many murders is this person an accessory to?

___________________________

imagePhoto 1 Full size taken on May 12, 2006 in the front yard of 3908 Bournemouth Bend, Williamsburg, VA

imagePhoto 2 Crop of photo 1 showing close up of neck of Gail Lakritz showing reddening of neck beginning.

imagePhoto 3 Crop and brightened showing the officer (name unknown) in the background of photo 1

imagePhoto 4 Taken on May 14, 2006 Showing thumb print

imagePhoto 5 Taken on May 14, 2006 Showing imprint of 4 fingers

imagePhoto 6 Taken on June 12, 2010 at the residence of Gail Lakritz.


[i] Strategy 2.A: Maintain continuous communication with other key service

providers involved in the juvenile justice system, Criminal Justice Plan

Prepared by Shakira D. Munden, Criminal Justice Planner,http://www.jccegov.com/pdf/ccjb/CCCJB%20Strtegic%20PlanFY07.pdf

[ii]A Case Of Attempted Murder I.http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977162000

A Case Of Attempted Murder, IIhttp://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977162129

A Case Of Attempted Murder, IIIhttp://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977162191

WordPress Tags: Murder,Williamsburg,Times,Evidentiary,Abuse,Affidavit,tools,relationship,life,Domestic,Violence,Expert,Susan,Murphy,Milnao,Gail,Lakritz,Joseph,Three,felon,Virginia,Gazette,article,officer,Judge,George,Jeff,Fairbanks,October,Commonwealth,Attorney,woman,prosecution,Victims,Office,department,Tramer,counselor,therapy,addition,Loren,Council,Anger,Management,Colonial,Services,September,March,transcript,DuBois,Just,apartment,Merrimac,Trail,reports,Tracy,Spencer,Batzali,Woods,Richmond,advice,fact,odor,cabinet,papers,appointment,Barbara,Levine,Prudential,sale,thunderstorm,door,room,From,portion,Dorothy,Boynton,Beach,throat,lawyer,pain,photo,dispatcher,statement,incident,pictures,highway,doctor,Road,neck,doctors,account,Case,Ford,deposition,neighbor,description,James,Police,stole,August,foot,investigation,Inspector,Bauman,Insp,computer,furniture,Some,permission,reporter,Samuel,Powell,lies,Nate,Greene,newspaper,reference,glass,Morris,Walmart,records,purchaser,person,Gather,Board,death,threats,accessory,___________________________,Full,size,yard,Bournemouth,Bend,Crop,background,Taken,June,residence,Strategy,Maintain,communication,justice,system,Criminal,Plan,Shakira,Munden,Planner,CCCJB,action,prosecutions,investigations,agreements,officers,accidents,injuries,photos,doors,sales,lawyers,providers,laundry,kitchen,thumb,subpoena,fingerprints,women,viewArticle,articleId

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Why Is The Solution Being Ignored by Those in Power?

Courtesy of Lisa Michels

There is FINALLY a SOLUTION to an ever increasing problem, thanks to the years of hard work and determination of one woman, Susan Murphy Milano.  There currently exists one deterrence to getting this information in the right hands...and each day that goes by another life is tragically taken.

ARE YOU TIRED and ANGRY of the "system" (political, media, corporate, those in POWER) who refuse to do what's right for the citizens of our great country? Why do they continue to do what's right for their career at the neglect and expense of the very people from which their power exists?

The solution is here yet they choose to ignore it.

Since I recognize the importance of the method described below in saving a life, whether it be from an abusive dating relationship or abusive marriage, I am posting the article and video that most closely explains the importance of getting this information in the right hands.

Call To Action: Will you choose to be a part of the solution by copying and pasting or forwarding to your social media sites, blogs and friends in order to spread the word?

The Price Of A Life

by Delilah

Family and domestic violence was put on the plate of Susan Murphy-Milano the day she was born. She didn’t ask for it, it asked for her, perhaps knowing that somewhere in her soul was something that could make a difference in the way that cases of domestic violence were handled. Living and breathing it daily in her home growing up, she survived for a reason, and, in my opinion, that reason is to help the helpless, to guide those who are living in violent chaos and having a hard time making sense of their own lives. She has been doing it for over 20 years!

This year Susan wrote and published the book, Time’s Up: A Guide on How to Leave an Abusive and Stalking Relationship and laid the procedures she created and used during the last 20 years of working directly with victims of violence. Point of fact…not one woman in 20 years died while on Susan’s watch, and that alone should speak for her knowledge and expertise.

This book is even more important to Susan because it was written to be something that will be used by victims who cannot be helped by her personally. Each day hundreds of emails come into her box seeking her help. Most inquiries are those in which someone will die, the “high risk” cases of a woman living in the danger zone, reaching out desperately in the eleventh hour. Susan is only one person, and realizing that, she offers the Time’s Up book and the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit to all who need it.

After the book was launched in April, 2010 on her murdered mother’s birthday, there have been many accolades and great reviews, but that is not enough! While all the good things said and written about Time’s Up are flattering, it’s not enough to get this book into the hands of the victims who are being beaten and killed every day. This book was not written and distributed for the sake of book sales, or for flattering words, it was written for one purpose only…..to save lives.

How many celebrities have supported the issue of domestic violence and how many organizations have been built around the need to help? Thousands of people have taken to the streets to educate and bring awareness to the general public, and yet, we are seeing lives lost in epidemic proportions due to family violence. Many wonderful laws have been passed, many advocates have spoken to Congress, and every day people still look the other way. Why?

In order to get Time’s Up, and the information contained to the victim who needs it right now is a daunting task taken on by one woman with a passion and a mission to save lives. Susan Murphy-Milano is not out to become the next media darling looking for a gig on the latest news talk show, although she would definitely appear if asked, she would appear as the spokesperson for those who cannot speak for themselves because they are frozen with fear wondering how long they have to live!

So, what is the price for a life? What more do we need to do? All of the “yays” and “shares” and pats on the back only go so far in these issues which are consuming many! How much do we have to pay to scream from the rooftops until people “get it?” If one missing person’s family is given the peace of mind they deserve, if one victim of a violent relationship is spared their life, is it worth it? Who are those “in charge” that can make a difference and why are they not stepping up to the plate? Is it money, fame, recognition that they want? What’s the price they are willing to pay? And why, oh why, does it have to come down to money?

And if it is a financial reason, then we need to talk because they are not understanding the financial price of not utilizing the solution. This solution will SAVE money and lives!!!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9uGnrtwK3Q&border=1&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1]

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SEX AND ENTITLEMENT

RightsForMothersFILED IN: PATRIARCHY, SARAH STEFANSON, SEXUAL RELATIONS, ENTITLEMENT

Someone had brought a post to my attention, and it struck a chord with me.  Thinking back, I think my ex-partner’s presumption of “entitlement” to it started the increase of his hostility and this is what started the physical abuse.  I found this segment on a men’s message board (Men Going Their Own Way) a while back sharing some of those manly feelings:

“I was driving back from a meeting this morning, thinking about my wife, and I really wanted to go home, and simply beat the living shit out of her. I have been supporting everyone for years, working my ass off, and my wife has not done one single fucking thing to make my life easier, to encourage me, or to help me with anything that’s bugging me. She’s on the PTA, the board of her preschool, she teaches art at the elementary school, is involved in a book club, and on and on and on. Her calendar is ridiculous. But I am some kind of fucking afterthought. I’m the engine that powers this entire thing, and I haven’t gotten laid in months.

I know I was awful tired taking care of a baby by myself all the time at night.  He would not help….ever.  He said his job was more important so he needed more sleep, yet we worked the same jobs (even had the same degrees, although mine more advanced).  Would it help to try and get joint counseling in this before you get the crap beat out of you?  I don’t know…I tried that and he wasn’t a willing participant.

Now try and look at it from the other point of view…can a guy turn this around and truly blame a woman?  (**Shakes head and rolls eyes**).  No.  Nobody deserved to be abused if they don’t give it up.  Back to the post that caught my attention…the writer (a woman!) on the Fox News story tries to come up with reasons why that woman just won’t put out, and fails miserably.  What follows here is some really good commentary on the Men’s Health post on Fox News:

“Women withhold sex because men let them get away with it”

Published by Jill

Feel like puking? Check out this crusty scab of human hatred from the Fox News website, a men’s advice column entitled “Reasons Women Withhold Sex.”

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “why would I feel like puking?” Or possibly, “why would anyone bother writing a men’s advice column entitled ‘Reasons Women Withhold Sex’ when the answer, so obvious to anyone with half a grip, is ‘because sex with you sucks’?”

But apparently men need to hear something other than the truth. Enter men’s advice-ist Sarah Stefanson. Rarely has so puke-a-riffic an example of the acculturation of sexist male entitlement been seen in this, or any other, galaxy.

I would call Sarah Stefanson a lousy turncoat collaborating suck-up shitbag, but I don’t want to jump to conclusions. There’s always the possibility that she was forced against her will to scrawl this feces-stain on the knickers of human achievement. Forced, perhaps, by some asshole who literally held a gun to her head, threatening to kneecap her 80-year-old grandma and foreclose on her 9-acre dirt farm, send a shipment of tainted vaccines to blind orphans in Bangladesh, and drown a sackful of kittens in a pond of toxic run-off. That has to be the scenario, because otherwise I’d be forced to contemplate that there actually exists a woman so degraded, so corrupt, so sociopathic, or so desperate that she would willingly turn out this kind of unremitting, lobe-scorching dudebro misogyny for the pitiful sum of 10 cents a word.

But I digress.

Sarah Stefanson’s hate speech addresses a dudely audience, and begins, I am sorry to say, like this:

One of the benefits of being in a long-term relationship is that you have someone that you can readily depend on for regular sex.

But uh-oh. Dude’s dependable meatsock may not be feelin’ it. She may even be “withholding” it. This suggests that the benefits of which Sarah Stefanson speaks so glowingly might be experienced by the party of the second part as unpleasantness. Hence her tips on how to manipulate your sex-woman and “get the carnal door open again” (Jaysus, 10 cents a word for that? Kill me now).

Observes Stefanson, “if there’s one area of a relationship women think they have control over, it’s sex.” But don’t buy it, men!

In the wild world of men’s advice columny, “purposefully withholding” sex is universally understood as a wholly nefarious, cruel, and mystifying method of female retribution. That’s because sex is a commodity to which men are entitled by the Global Accords Governing Fair Use of Women. Women are the sex class. If the flow of access is interrupted, the natural order is out of whack, and your sex-woman needs to be reset. But hey, chillax, bra! Stefanson’s column addresses the painful question “what can a suffering dude do when his receptacle is ‘purposefully withholding’ sex?”

In answering the question, Sarah Stefanson, with whom I begin to grow increasingly annoyed, leaves no tired old war-between-the-sexes cliché unturned. Women who “close up shop” (yes, really) are manipulative, out to prove who’s boss, cheating, or “playing games.” If they’re too tired to fuck, men are urged to poke them with sticks. If none of the tactics listed sufficiently cajoles them, “you might have to wait it out and service yourself until she comes to her senses.” But ultimately, Sarah Stefanson opines, women withhold sex “because men let them get away with it.” So man up, you spineless fairy, and take what’s yours.

Stefanson’s article is a stupid lowbrow clump of oppression-culture condensation, and doesn’t really merit a full-on paragraph-by-paragraph analysis, but it’s worth pointing out that it was filed on a major news website under “Men’s Health,” where it is accepted, uncritically and without analysis, that women are an underclass with so little agency that sexual manipulation is their only recourse.

Puke.

[Thanks, PhioGistic]

Please go to her website and comment on this great piece.

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Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Understanding the Batterer In Custody and Visitation Disputes

 

by R. Lundy Bancroft

To read the complete article (pdf) click here

A sophisticated understanding of the mind of the abuser, his style as a parent, and of the tactics that he most commonly employs during separation and divorce, are essential to anyone making custody recommendations or working to design visitation plans that are safe for the children and their mother.

Contrary to popular belief, children of batterers can be at just as much risk psychologically, sexually, and even physically after the couple splits up as they were when the family was still together. In fact, many children experience the most damaging victimization from the abuser at this point.

A genuine batterer can be difficult to distinguish from one who is unfairly accused, and batterers who will be a grave risk to their children during unsupervised visitation can be hard to separate from those who can visit safely. The insights and expertise of those service providers who have extensive experience working directly with abusers needs to be drawn from, and the level of contribution from victims themselves to policy design also needs to be greatly increased.

Custody and visitation battles amidst allegations of domestic violence require policies and interveners (judges, mediators, and Guardians Ad Litem) based in the most detailed knowledge, experience, sensitivity, and integrity. The stakes for children are very high.

BATTERERS' STYLE DURING SEPARATION AND DIVORCE

An abuser's desire for control intensifies as he senses the relationship slipping away from him. He focuses on the debt he feels his victim owes him, and his outrage at her growing independence. (This dynamic is often misread as evidence that batterers have an inordinate "fear of abandonment.") He is likely to increase his level of intimidation and manipulation at this point; he may, for example, promise to change while simultaneously frightening his victim, including using threats to take custody of the children legally or by kidnapping.

Those abusers who accept the end of the relationship can still be dangerous to their victims and children, because of their determination to maintain control over their children and to punish their victims for perceived transgressions. They are also, as we will see later, much more likely than non-batterers to be abusive physically, sexually, and psychologically to their children.

The propensity of a batterer to see his partner as a personal possession commonly extends to his children, helping to explain the overlap between battering and child abuse. He tends, for example, to have an exaggerated reaction when his ex-partner begins a new relationship, refusing to accept that a new man is going to develop a bond with "his" children; this theme is a common one in batterer groups. He may threaten or attack the new partner, make unfounded accusations that the new partner is abusing the children, cut off child support, or file abruptly for custody in order to protect his sole province over his children. A batterer who does file for custody will frequently win, as he has numerous advantages over his partner in custody litigation. These include, 1) his typical ability to afford better representation (often while simultaneously insisting that he has no money with which to pay child support), 2) his marked advantage over his victim in psychological testing, since she is the one who has been traumatized by the abuse, 3) his ability to manipulate custody evaluators to be sympathetic to him, and 4) his ability to manipulate and intimidate the children regarding their statements to the custody evaluator. There is also evidence that gender bias in family courts works to the batterer's advantage. (Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court Gender Bias Study) Even if the batterer does not win custody, his attempt can be among the most intimidating acts possible from the victim's perspective, and can lead to financial ruin for her and her children.

To read the complete article (pdf) click here

Order the Book!
The Batterer As Parent,
  by Lundy Bancroft
http://www.volcanopress.com/pages/catalog.cgi?mrchcatid=4&mrchid=81&#top

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Kansas State University: NON-CUSTODIAL MOTHERS: THEMATIC TRENDS AND FUTURE DIRECTIONS

 

Non-custodial Mothers: Thematic Trends and Future Directions

Michelle Bemiller 1*

1 Kansas State University

Copyright © 2008 Blackwell Publishing Ltd

Sociology Compass 2/3 (2008): 910–924, 10.1111/j.1751-9020.2008.00117.x

ABSTRACT

The non-custodial mother is an anomaly. She does not live with her children on a full-time basis, putting her outside of the dominant expectations associated with motherhood. Although there has been an increase in the number of non-custodial mothers in recent years, information on the experience of being a non-custodial mother is minimal. The majority of our knowledge of non-custodial mothers stems from research conducted during the mid-1980s through the 1990s. This research was primarily descriptive in nature, lacking theoretical density. This article provides an overview of research completed on non-custodial mothers over the past two decades, with attention to the family and the role of the courts. After reviewing past research, the current state of the field is discussed, and future research directions are suggested.


DIGITAL OBJECT IDENTIFIER (DOI)

10.1111/j.1751-9020.2008.00117.x About DOI

Article Text

For well over two decades, scholars have examined the connection between being a woman and motherhood (Schur 1984; Glenn 1994; Hays 1996). Early research examined the quality of mothering and its effects on children. More recent research has focused on mothers’ activities and the meaning attached to motherhood, drawing attention to the intensive nature of mothering in western society (Hays 1996; Arendell 2000). Feminist scholars have critiqued this literature, arguing that our knowledge of mothers has been based on a white, heterosexual woman’s point of view (Collins 1990;Glenn 1994). As a result, recent motherhood scholarship has drawn attention to mothers who do not fit the dominant ideology of motherhood–mothers of color, working mothers, single mothers, lesbian mothers, and non-custodial mothers, to name a few. These mothers, often referred to as resistant mothers, do not fit neatly into the intensive motherhood paradigm (Garey 1999; Glenn 1994; Hill Collins 1987).

One such mother, the non-custodial mother, is the subject of this article. Although it is true that women still receive custody of children in the majority of custody cases, the custodial father has become more visible over the years. Despite the increase in the number of non-custodial mothers, little information exists on this population as Arditti and Madden-Derdich (1993), Arditti (1995), Fischer and Cardea (1981), and Greif (1987a, 1997) have noted. In an attempt to synthesize the scholarship on non-custodial mothers, this article provides an overview of research completed on non-custodial mothers over the past two decades, drawing attention to shifts in the scholarly coverage of these women. After reviewing past research, the current state of the field is discussed, and future research directions are suggested.

Non-custodial mothers: The 1980s and 1990s

The structure and content of research on non-custodial mothers is the product of social and political forces operating from decade to decade. The majority of our knowledge of non-custodial mothers stems from research completed during the mid-1980s through the 1990s (see Arditti 1995; Arditti and Madden-Derdich 1993; Babcock 1997; Chesler 1986; Christensen et al. 1990; Clumpus 1996; Dolan and Hoffman 1998; Edwards 1989; Ferguson 1994; Fischer 1983; Fischer and Cardea 1981; Fox and Kelly 1995;Furstenburg et al. 1983; Greif 1987a, b; Greif 1997; Greif and Pabst 1988; Herrerias 1984; Herrerias 1995; Hetherington 1993; Maccoby and Mnookin 1992; Meyers and Lakin 1983; Rosen and Etlin 1996; Santora and Hays 1998, Stewart 1999a, b; Zuravin and Greif 1989). During this time, fathers started to receive custody of children in increasing numbers, placing non-custodial mothers under the social microscope. As indicated by the title of Harriett Edwards’ (1989) book, as more and more mothers lost or gave up custody of their children, the question on the minds of society was, How Could You? These thoughts, of course, were intimately connected with the notion that mothers should have primary custody of their children because of their nurturing and loving characteristics – these notions still permeate our society today, affecting the actions of both mothers and fathers. As a case in point, Cowdery and Knudson-Martin’s (2005) qualitative analysis of 50 couples pointed to an unequal division of childcare labor between mothers and fathers. This division of labor was created based on idealized beliefs about motherhood. As a result, mothers were intimately connected with children, whereas fathers were encouraged to step aside (see also Aldous et al. 1998). In these families, and within society at large, this lesser involvement of fathers was expected and tolerated (see also Hochschild 1989) because of the belief that mothers should, by virtue of their gender, be the primary caretakers of children. For mothers who do not have custody of their children, this ideology is problematic on a personal and social level.

In an attempt to better understand these mothers’ experiences of custody loss as well as their individual experiences as non-custodial mothers, scholarly research increased in the social sciences. The focus of this research ranged from individual experiences of mothers (i.e., social judgments and relationships with children) to structural processes that influenced women’s experiences (i.e., reasons for relinquishment and letter of the law).

One structural change that has led to women’s loss of custody is the family courts’ movement toward gender neutrality. The movement toward a gender neutral custody process emerged in the family courts around 1970 and gained momentum during the 1980s (Fox and Kelley 1995). Gender neutrality – the idea that both mothers and fathers can equally parent their children – challenged the historical notion that mothers are better suited to care for young children emotionally and physically than fathers (i.e., ‘the tender years doctrine’). As more women entered the workforce and the culture began to open up regarding parental roles, fathers started to become more active in caregiving. As a result, in family court, it was no longer assumed that mothers were the better parent and fathers began to seek and gain custody in increasing numbers (Fox and Kelley 1995; Greif and Pabst 1988; Greif 1995; Thompson 1983).

According to Chesler (1986), the by product of this ‘gender-neutral approach’ was a court system that privileged fathers’ rights over mothers’ rights as judges expressed their approval of fathers’ involvement while at the same time scrutinizing mother’s maternal responsibilities. Fathers’ suitability as custodial parents was further endorsed when economic stability was added into the equation. In a study completed for the American Bar Association, Mason (1997) found that custody decisions mentioned economic stability 46.5% of the time. Generally speaking, men have an economic advantage over women, putting women in a precarious position in custody cases.

Research by Babcock (1997), Chesler (1986), Greif and Pabst (1988), and Herrerias (1984, 1995) rigorously examined the experiences of non-custodial mothers through the lens of social psychology, social work, and symbolic interactionism. These works contributed a great deal to what we know about non-custodial mothers’ experiences during the 1980s on both an interpersonal and structural level. These are notable exceptions to what consisted mostly of descriptive studies that provided a great deal of background information about women’s experiences, but failed to rigorously examine women’s experiences through a theoretical lens.

Methodologically speaking, it is important to point out that the research completed during this time varied tremendously. Some studies used quantitative data collection methods, yielding large samples of non-custodial mothers (see Greif and Pabst 1988;Herrerias 1984), whereas other studies used qualitative methods involving interviews with small samples of non-custodial mothers (see Clumpus 1996; Ferguson 1994 for two examples of qualitative scholarship). In addition, differences also existed regarding survey instruments used during data collection (see Greif and Pabst 1988; Herrerias 1984). Because the quality and specificity of the data within these studies varied significantly, caution must be taken when comparing studies to one another.

That having been said, the studies completed during the 1980s and 1990s provided much needed insight into the lives of non-custodial mothers. Research focused on social beliefs about non-custodial mothers, reasons for relinquishing custody of children, relationships with children, adjustment to the status of non-custodial mother, and the family courts.

SOCIAL JUDGMENTS

Studies during the 1980s and 1990s indicated that non-custodial mothers experienced a great deal of social stigma because of the loss of their children. In a comparison study of custodial (n = 14) and non-custodial mothers (n = 17), Fischer and Cardea (1981) found that mothers, regardless of their custodial status, felt that society had a negative view of women who had relinquished custody of their children. This study also found that over half of the non-custodial mothers had received negative reactions from friends and family due to the loss of their children.

In 1983, Fischer polled 34 respondents from the human development and family studies faculty as well as graduate students at a university in West Texas regarding attitudes toward couples with children and couples living childfree lifestyles (i.e., homosexual couples, cohabiting heterosexual couples, empty nest couples, married couples without children, couples who lost children to accidents, and non-custodial parents). Using a 7-point scale, respondents were asked to rank the categories on two dimensions: whether the situation was common or uncommon in society and whether society approved or disapproved of this lifestyle. Findings indicated that respondents thought society most disapproved of homosexual couples and non-custodial mothers.

In her study of 100 mothers, Edwards (1989) reported mixed results regarding non-custodial experiences. Some of the women in her study spoke of being stigmatized by family, friends, and acquaintances, whereas others pointed to the strong support that they received from people in their lives. Thus, not all women incurred harsh judgments because of their status.

Ferguson (1994) used two case studies to highlight the experience of being a non-custodial mother. Using these two cases as well as past literature, Ferguson pointed out that women are prepared for the role of mother through gender socialization from an early age. Furthermore, the mothers are blamed for children’s pathologies, are expected to be self-sacrificing, and experience inequality when they work in the paid labor force. These stereotypes, and the outcomes from these stereotypes, led to negative evaluations of non-custodial mothers and also affected women’s choices when relinquishing custody (see also Babcock 1997). Accordingly, Ferguson recommended support groups to help non-custodial mothers adjust to this role.

Using one on one interviews obtained through Mothers Apart from Their Children (MATCH), Clumpus (1996) explored the lives of 10 non-custodial mothers. Her goal was to understand how the social construction of non-custodial mothers as ‘unfit’ parents affected these women’s self-perceptions. Clumpus (1996) found that the non-custodial mothers in her sample perceived themselves as deficient and blamed themselves for their non-custodial status. Because of these perceptions, the mothers separated themselves from their children, family, and friends.

Using a convenience sample of 120 participants from the general population (60 male and 60 female), Dolan and Hoffman (1998) conducted a study of perceptions of parent custodial status using vignettes depicting persons as married parents, divorced parents with custody, and divorced persons without custody. Their findings indicated that participants were most likely to rate both mothers and fathers who were non-custodial parents negatively. However, over all other parental forms, non-custodial mothers were the most negatively evaluated parents in the study.

Babcock (1997) focused on the effect that non-custodial status had on the salience of identity and general self-esteem for non-custodial mothers. Her most important finding was that all of the 41 non-custodial mothers that were interviewed had experienced negative appraisals on at least one occasion. In order to compensate for these negative appraisals, Babcock deduced that the non-custodial mothers were attempting to fit the ideal model of mothering by altering their mothering role to more closely match social expectations of mothers. According to Babcock’s analysis, the mothers increased physical visitation and contact by phone and letter, showing their dedication to their children. When these efforts to be more like ‘traditional’ mothers failed, the mothers redefined their mothering role, becoming more like sisters, aunts, or friends to their children. The participants claimed that these relationships were mutually satisfying for themselves and their children.

REASONS FOR RELINQUISHMENT

Throughout the 1980s and 1990s, mothers gave up or lost custody of their children for a variety of reasons. Some of these reasons included inability to financially support children, children choosing to remain with their father or another custodial caregiver, mothers’ emotional difficulties, and the courts’ view that fathers were the better parents – usually because of one of the reasons listed (Arditti and Madden-Derdich 1993;Fischer and Cardea 1981; Fischer 1983; Greif and Pabst 1988; Herrerias 1984;Meyers and Lakin 1983; Santora and Hays 1998; Zuravin and Greif 1989). These studies distinguished between voluntary and involuntary relinquishment of custody. In voluntary cases, mothers chose to give up custody of their children. In involuntary cases, the mothers were forced by the courts to give up custody due to their perceived inability to care for the children (Herrerias 1995). In a departure from these descriptive analyses, Clumpus (1996) examined the repercussions of lack of resources on mothers and children, finding that mothers felt that the unequal distribution of power between them and their ex-spouses led to their children becoming tactical pawns in their ex-husbands’ attempts to control the post-divorce relationship between them and their children.

RELATIONSHIPS WITH CHILDREN

For the most part, mothers were involved with their children after giving up or losing custody. Greif (1987b) found increased mother involvement when: (i) the father shared responsibility for the break-up with the ex-wife; (ii) custody was gained through mutual agreement; (iii) the father was earning the higher income; (iv) the father was raising one or two children (rather than three or more); and (v) the mother lived nearby. Using questionnaire responses from 1,136 custodial fathers, Greif found that 73 percent of fathers indicated that their ex-wives were somewhat or slightly involved with their children, whereas only 7 percent of the men indicated that their ex-wives were very involved. It should be noted that these findings were only indicative of face-to-face interaction; they did not account for contact by mail or telephone.

In a comparison of non-custodial mothers and fathers, Furstenburg, Peterson, Nord, and Zill (1983) indicated that mothers were more likely to have higher levels of contact with children than non-custodial fathers. Non-custodial mothers were more likely to visit their children regularly, to have overnight visits, and to write letters and phone the children. These results, however, should be looked at with caution given the difference between the sample of non-custodial fathers (n = 395) and the sample of non-custodial mothers (n = 28).

In 1984, Herrerias reported results from 18 page questionnaires collected from non-custodial mothers who lived in Texas, Oklahoma, and New York. Her findings indicated that upon relinquishment, roughly 97% of the 130 women in her sample maintained an active relationship with their children. The majority (71%) were happy with their decision to give up custody, and with their mother–child relationships. Nearly 77 percent described their relationships with their children as close and caring. Greif and Pabst (1988) analyzed 517 questionnaires that were disseminated to non-custodial mothers through the Parents Without Partners magazine and through the Mothers Without Custody organization. Findings indicated that mothers remained involved with their children after relinquishing custody. Out of 517 non-custodial mothers, roughly 23 percent of the mothers claimed to be very involved, 33 percent were somewhat involved, 29 percent were slightly involved, and 15 percent were not involved at all.

In an attempt to fully understand the relationship between non-custodial mothers and their children, the research in the 1990s focused on both quantity and quality of visitation. Although past research from the 1980s addressed the issue of quality to a degree, most of the attention focused on quantity of visitation, excluding parents’ actual involvement in their children’s daily lives and activities. As Greif (1997) noted, parents may pay child support and visit their children regularly, but this is not indicative of involvement in their children’s daily lives. For example, non-custodial fathers have been dubbed ‘Disneyland Dads’ because they do not actively participate in their children’s day-to-day routine (e.g., helping with homework), but instead engage in social and recreational activities (Hetherington 1993).

In two studies completed by Arditti, quantity of visitation was addressed, but quality of visitation was largely ignored. Arditti and Madden-Derdich (1993) found that over half of the 13 mothers in their study indicated that they saw their children several times a month and felt that the visitations went well, for the most part. Mothers did, however, report that they felt a decline in closeness with their children after the divorce.

Arditti (1995) argued that there are clear distinctions between non-custodial mothers and fathers, especially with regards to involvement with their children. The literature cited in this review pointed to the fact that mothers were much more likely to feel a connection with their children despite their living arrangements, and that they were more likely to try to maintain an active relationship with their children through visitation, phoning, mailing letters, etc. Although this article focused on the connection between mothers and children, involvement in children’s day-to-day lives was ignored.

In their work, Maccoby and Mnookin (1992) examined divorced families in California, showing that non-custodial mothers were more involved in day-to-day aspects of parenting such as buying clothes, keeping track of doctor appointments, and supervising homework than were non-custodial fathers. Non-custodial fathers also reported more problems monitoring their children’s activities during visitation than did non-custodial mothers.

Using the 1987 to 1988 National Survey of Families and Households, Stewart (1999a) addressed structural impediments to visitation activities (e.g., living far away from children and lack of finances), a finding that parents who lived further away from their children were less likely to see their children and when they did see their children were more likely to participate in leisure activities rather than school or organized activities. Parents with low levels of education were more likely to focus on leisure activities when they were with their children. Level of earnings had no impact on the choice to participate in leisure versus school activities. Overall, Stewart’s findings revealed that both non-custodial mothers and fathers have similar types of visitation patterns, leading to the conclusion that emotional issues and practical barriers make day-to-day contact with children difficult to maintain, regardless of parents’ gender.

In a similar analysis using the same dataset, Stewart (1999b) found that non-resident mothers were slightly more likely to maintain contact via phone and mail than fathers. About 30 percent of non-resident mothers talked to their children several times a week compared with 20 percent of fathers. She found no difference between how many times mothers and fathers saw their children during the year. Yet, overall, children spent significantly more weeks visiting non-resident mothers than fathers. Over two thirds of non-resident fathers reported never having had their children come to stay with them compared with half of mothers. Over one third of non-resident mothers reported that their child stayed with them for over one month in the last year, compared with only 14 percent of fathers.

ADJUSTMENT AND COPING

Adjusting to and coping with the role of non-custodial parent can be a complex process. Scholarship during the 1980s and 1990s indicated that some women adapted quickly and coped well in their new parenting role, whereas others experienced difficulties associated with relinquishing their children. Greif (1987a) found that one third of his sample of 517 non-custodial mothers were comfortable being non-custodial parents, were comfortable telling people that they were non-custodial parents, did not feel guilty about their non-custodial status, felt the children were better off where they were (i.e., outside of mothers’ custody), and were satisfied with their relationship with their children. Focusing on these women’s experiences, Greif (1987a) found that mothers’ comfort was most highly correlated with their satisfaction with their relationship with their children, not feeling guilt, and believing that the children were better off with their fathers. Personal factors that were predictors of comfort included the choice to voluntarily give up custody, the reason the mother gave for the divorce (e.g., if she felt that the blame was shared she was better off), the reason why the mother did not have custody (e.g., mothers whose children wanted to live with their father were better adjusted), the stress at the time of relinquishment (i.e., mothers who felt less stress were better adjusted), mother’s religion (i.e., those with no religious affiliation felt more comfortable), and the way the mothers dealt with changes in their lifestyles (i.e., those who felt content with a changing financial lifestyle were more comfortable as non-custodial mothers).

In their book Mothers Without Custody, Greif and Pabst (1988) found that women who demonstrated the highest level of adjustment reported seeing their children often and having grown up in a family with liberal views on the role of mothers and fathers in children’s lives. Similar to Greif (1987a) and Greif and Pabst (1988), Edwards (1989) found that out of the 100 non-custodial mothers she surveyed, more than 90 percent expressed satisfaction with their decision to relinquish custody because they felt that it was in the best interests of the children financially, physically, and emotionally.

Fischer and Cardea (1981), on the other hand, found that mothers had a difficult time coping with their non-custodial status. This research indicated that non-custodial mothers were under a great deal of stress, were economically disadvantaged, and lacked a sufficient support system. Herrerias (1984) asked 130 women to reflect on their experiences with custody relinquishment. Twenty-two percent of these mothers regretted their custody decision, citing experiences with low self-esteem and non-psychotic depression.

Edwards (1989) found that the women in her study used a variety of coping tactics, some positive and some negative. Methods of coping included staying in contact with children, keeping a journal about their feelings, staying physically active, reading self-help books, using pills and alcohol, going to therapy, staying active with people, and staying busy.

Santora and Hays (1998) asked their 26 participants how they had coped with the status of non-custodial parent. The majority pointed to the need for a non-judgmental social support network composed of family, friends, other non-custodial mothers, and support groups to help them in adjusting to this role. When asked what they would recommend to other women in similar positions, the women recommended redefining one’s role as a mother, recognizing that this is a time for grieving, allowing this process to take place, using prayer and spirituality, educating oneself about women’s issues, and doing things for your children (e.g., making scrapbooks). Of the 26 women inSantora and Hays’ (1996) study, the majority (69 percent) experienced significant levels of anxiety and/or depressive symptoms, half reported significant health problems, and five of the women were using antidepressants.

THE COURTS

The research of the 1990s began to focus on women’s experiences within the court system and how custody was actually determined within the legal system. As more fathers were awarded custody of their children, the reasons for this increase were explored as well as mothers’ visitation, child support, and overall treatment in the system. Using data from 509 divorce cases in Michigan during the early 1980s, Fox and Kelly (1995) examined who was most likely to receive sole physical custody in final court judgments. Their findings indicated substantial gender differences in the effects of socioeconomic and legal process variables on custody outcomes.

More specifically, they found that fathers were more likely to gain custody of older male children than female children. When shifting attention to socioeconomic factors in custody decisions, they found that mothers were more likely to be awarded custody of their children if they had a college degree. Education did not play a role in the court-based custody decision for fathers. Mothers’ income had no effect on whether or not she obtained custody. On the other hand, fathers with high incomes were less likely to have custody of their children. This was not because the court was unlikely to give higher income fathers custody, but was related to the high opportunity costs involved in being the sole custodial parent of a child or children. In other words, these fathers opted to not go for custody. Courts were less likely to give custody to unemployed fathers while women’s employment status had no effect on custody decisions.

Shifting to the legal process, findings indicated that when husbands were the plaintiffs in custody cases, they were more likely to obtain sole custody of the children (Chesler 1986; Fox and Kelly 1995). Fox and Kelly (1995) argued that this finding was indicative of the shift to gender-neutral custody outcomes. This study also found that when a court investigation took place regarding the children’s current living situation that fathers were more likely to gain custody of the children.

Using 1153 court case records from 10 Minnesota counties in 1986, Christensen, Dahl, and Rettig (1990) examined the differences in treatment of non-custodial mothers and fathers by the courts. Christensen et al. (1990) found that non-custodial mothers pay child support less frequently than non-custodial fathers. More specifically, out of 114 non-custodial mother cases, 38 mothers paid support. When non-custodial mothers paid child support, they also paid less child support than non-custodial fathers (i.e., 20 percent of their income versus 25 percent of fathers’ income). Upon closer inspection, it was found that non-custodial mothers pay less because of their disproportionately low incomes in comparison with men. More specifically, non-custodial mothers had a net yearly income that was about 63 percent of non-custodial fathers. Non-custodial mothers were likely to be employed in jobs with few fringe benefits and were also less likely to have pensions in comparison with non-custodial fathers.

To some degree, studies during the 1990s drew attention to the connection between child custody and domestic violence. Rosen and Etlin (1996), for example, found that judges were more likely to give custody of children to abusive fathers because of the assumption that battered mothers were unable to take care of themselves (i.e., could not stop the abuse) and therefore could not care for or protect their children.

The non-custodial mother: Current knowledge (2000 to present)

The descriptive studies conducted during the 1980s and 1990s provided much needed background information about non-custodial mothers. With the exception of Chesler (1986), Greif and Pabst (1988), and Herrerias (1984), these studies lacked theoretical depth. As research continued into the 1990s, similar trends continued until the middle of the decade. At this time, a more theoretically rigorous examination of non-custodial mothers’ experiences became apparent. In particular, Clumpus (1996) used a social constructionist framework to understand mothers’ experiences with social stigma, whereas Babcock (1997) examined social stigma through the use of identity theory. During this decade, we also saw a shift toward focusing more on structural forces that affect women’s experiences in the courts and during visitations with their children.Stewart (1999a) discussed how a mother’s economic situation as well as her living arrangements could impede her ability to see her children. Both issues are intimately connected to gender. Studies by Fox and Kelly (1995) and Christensen et al. (1990) also point to how gender and economic situation affects women’s experiences with custody and child support.

Studies on non-custodial mothers from 2000 up to today have been minimal. Bemiller’s (2005) recent qualitative study, used 16 one-on-one interviews to further understand the connection between being a woman and motherhood in Western society. This study explored how non-custodial mothers define and enact motherhood in a society that emphasizes that mothers should be the primary caregivers for children. Bemiller notes that non-custodial mothers are perceived as ‘deviant’ mothers because they live apart from their children most of the time and therefore are unable to be full-time, intensive mothers. As a result, non-custodial mothers struggled with their role as mother, vacillating between accommodation of dominant definitions of motherhood and resistance of the same ideology.

Other research has drawn attention to non-custodial mothers’ experiences within the family court system. Adding to past research on child support payments, Grall (2007) reported that non-custodial mothers’ and non-custodial fathers’ child support payments were comparable. The proportion of mothers (47.3 percent) and fathers (43.1 percent) receiving full payments of child support in 2005 were not statistically significant. In addition to Grall’s census report, a report from the National Organization for Women (NOW) documented women’s experiences with family court dysfunction in California (Heim et al. 2002). This report found corruption, denial of due process, and gender bias in the family courts. Similarly, The Wellesley Centers for Women published a report that examined violations of human rights laws and standards in the Massachusetts family courts. These violations included failure to investigate allegations of child abuse in contested child custody cases (Cuthbert et al. 2002).

In an attempt to further understand the effects of interpersonal violence (IPV) on custody outcomes, Kernic et al. (2005) completed a retrospective cohort study of 2,516 couples with children under the age of 18 years in Seattle, WA. The authors found a history of IPV in 11 percent of the cases that they examined. Kernic et al. (2005) found that mothers with a history of IPV were no more likely than comparison group mothers to be awarded child custody, although overall mothers in the study were more likely to be awarded custody of children than fathers. The authors also found that fathers who were known perpetrators of IPV were not expected to have third-party supervision during child visitation, but were often remanded to counseling. The overall findings of this study led to the conclusion that IPV is often not identified within the custody proceedings even when there is a documented, substantiated history of IPV present, and that there was a lack of strong protections ordered among cases where a history of substantiated IPV was known to exist.

Future directions

Although the scholarship of motherhood is alive and well within Sociology, the focus on non-custodial mothers has been limited. This article has provided an overview of some of the seminal studies conducted during the 1980s up to the present. As noted, the majority of the studies completed during the 1980s and 1990s were descriptive, lacking theoretical analyses (for exceptions see Babcock 1997; Chesler 1986; Clumpus 1996;Greif and Pabst 1988; Herrerias 1984). Although these studies provided important background information on these women, they did not theoretically frame their experiences, nor did they provide a detailed examination of social forces that affect non-custodial mothers.These omissions open up many possibilities for research with this population of women. One area that deserves attention is the social construction of motherhood for non-custodial mothers. With the exception of Babcock (1997) andBemiller (2005), researchers have failed to examine how non-custodial mothers define motherhood as well as how they enact mothering in light of the contradictions that exist between personal and social definitions of motherhood. It is important to understand how non-custodial mothers define motherhood and mothering because these definitions affect how they perceive themselves as women and mothers. How non-custodial mothers define and enact mothering may influence their day-to-day interactions with their children, ex-spouses, and family. It may also affect how they cope with the status of non-custodial parent.

Along these same lines, recent scholarship on motherhood has addressed the need to examine the diverse experiences of mothers in relationship to the intensive mothering paradigm. Non-custodial mothers provide a unique opportunity to examine accommodation of or resistance to the intensive mothering paradigm. Because these women do not live with their children the majority of the time, and because they are often in financially unstable situations, these mothers may have a difficult time intensively mothering their children (e.g., cooking for them, buying for them, and nurturing them). Bemiller (2005) has examined this issue with 16 non-custodial mothers, but further research must focus attention on non-custodial mothers and the intensive mothering paradigm.

Social stigma also warrants further examination. In her study of 100 mothers, Edwards (1989) reported mixed reactions regarding non-custodial mothers’ experiences. Some of the women in her study spoke of being stigmatized by family, friends, and acquaintances, whereas others pointed to the strong support that they received from people in their lives. Thus, not all women incurred harsh judgments because of their status. Babcock (1997), on the other hand, found that all of the women in her sample had experienced stigmatization, leading them to redefine the role of mother. Babcock argued that this redefinition of the mother role was connected to the social construction of motherhood. Further exploration into non-custodial mothers and social stigma would be useful. In particular, future research should focus attention on factors that lead some women to define their personal interactions as non-custodial mothers as stigmatizing while others do not. Like Babcock’s findings, new research may continue to find a connection between the social construction of motherhood and the definition of and internalization of stigma.

The relationship between custodial and non-custodial parents must also be explored. Past research has given this topic cursory attention, but has failed to discuss how the relationship between parents affects non-custodial mothers’ access to children and their feelings about motherhood. Although motherhood can be empowering for women (Collins 1987; Johnson 1988), it may also be viewed as disempowering if mothers do not have access to children. Given the barriers that some non-custodial mothers face when attempting to see their children, it is important to understand the short and long term effects on the family.

Last but certainly not least, research should continue to explore the connection between domestic violence and child custody in the family court system. Recent research has documented that fathers receive custody of children despite allegations of family violence (Kernic et al. 2005; Neustein and Lesher 2005; Rosen and Etlin 1996). To better understand how and why this happens research must continue to evaluate court processes and decision-making strategies. In particular, research should focus on court appointed custody evaluators, addressing how they handle contested custody cases that involve allegations of domestic violence.

The above-mentioned are only a few suggestions for areas of exploration. Research opportunities are numerous within this population of mothers. Future research should continue to explore the diversity of contemporary family life, contributing to our understanding of motherhood, fatherhood, and family as gendered social institutions.

Short Biography

Michelle Bemiller is Assistant Professor of Sociology at Kansas State University. Her research is located within the areas of gender, deviance, and criminology; she has authored or co-authored refereed articles and book reviews in these areas forSociological Focus, Journal of Family Issues, Gender & Society, Contemporary Sociology, and the Criminal Justice Review. She is currently completing a multi-method analysis of occupational burnout amongst sexual assault and domestic violence workers in the state of Kansas. She holds a BA in Political Science/Criminal Justice from the University of Akron, an MA in Justice Studies from Kent State University, and a PhD in Sociology from the University of Akron.

Note

* Correspondence address: Department of Sociology, Anthropology, and Social Work, Kansas State University, 204 Waters Hall, Manhattan, KS 66506–4003, USA. E-mail:Bemiller@ksu.edu

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Sociology Compass 2/3 (2008): 910–924, 10.1111/j.1751-9020.2008.00117.x

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