Friday, January 28, 2011

Children are our future? Then why do judges send them to live with abusers??

SIGN THE PETITION HERE:

http://womensrights.change.org/petitions/view/children_are_our_future_then_why_do_judges_send_them_to_live_with_abusers

Targeting: The President of the United States, The U.S. Senate, The U.S. House of Representatives, see more...

Started by: Kym Payne Lesley

There is a crisis in our nation's family courts.  Judges are awarding child custody to abusers and pedophiles and punishing the safe parent who tries to protect the children from harm.

Have you ever heard the saying "Good Mamas don't get their kids taken away from them?"  I heard it too.  Well... there is a catch... Good Mamas that left really bad men DO IN FACT lose custody of their children... all of the time....  In turn, the statistics will ASTONISH AND OUTRAGE YOU!

The reason why we have all of the petitions against ANY kind of violence is because these perpetrators learned it from somewhere....  today our government, law makers, police force, etc teach young minds that they deserve to be abused until they become the abusers too.  Violence is passable & rewarded in America.

If you know FOUR women, then you know someone who is going to experiece violence at some level in her life... and its your responsibility to sign and get four more people to sign it as well.  If not, the world will stay ignorant and our kids will be trapped as victimizers or victims.

FACTS: Like Father Like Son, Like Mother Like Daughter
1. Witnessing violence between one’s parents or caretakers is the strongest risk factor of transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next... by becoming the aggressor or the victim who has learned through life... its acceptable.

2.Boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults.

3. 30% to 60% of perpetrators of intimate partner violence also abuse children in the household.

4. 1.3 million physical assaults are reported by women who are abused by their intimate partner... and to make it worse, msot cases of domestic violence is never even reported.

5.  Studies conducted by the National Center for State Courts (NCSC), looking solely at court records, have found documented evidence of domestic violence in 20-55% of contested custody cases.

6. A survey of battered women by the Arizona Coalition Against Domestic Violence found that courts awarded joint or sole custody to the alleged batterers 56-74% of the time (depending on the county).  Many of these cases involved documented child abuse or adult abuse.

7. A study of 300 cases over a 10-year period in which the mother sought to protect the child from sexual abuse, found that 70% resulted in unsupervised visitation or shared custody; in 20% of the cases the mothers completely lost custody, and many of these lost all visitation rights.

8. Abusive fathers are twice as liekly to seek sole custody of children.

9. In 2010, we are close to the 100 DEATHS mark due to the Family Court System awarding sole custody or joint custody to Domestic Violence offenders.

 

PETITION TEXT

Lenient Domestic Violence Laws: Why is our government scared of perpetrators?

If 9 out of 10 men that take mothers to court to obtain sole custody are domestic violence offenders... AND.... 70% of those perpetrators win sole custody... what is to become of our future?

Our children are dying at a rate of 5 a day due to child abuse.  75% are under the age of 4.  That rate almost doubled since 1995... so have the rates of Domestic Violence Offenders who gain sole custody.  This is our fault for not changing our world and saving our babies. 

Women who are "good mothers trying to protect their children" are being removed from their children's lives or getting only supervised visitation. 

Thousands of women are being muted by the Family Court System to not speak of her Domestic Violence experience.  Saying the problem is "embarrassing or shaming the children" by the mothers who speak out... when the problem is the fathers who are unable to show the children a real example of a "man".

Children are learning that violence is rewarded.  So... their problem solving skills are being formed by our government that won't put a concrete boundary around the influence of violent offenders over our children.

You are a political figure with the power to make a change.  Leave a big footprint in the world please, if you won't stand up for our women and children...  they will never be able to stand themselves.

Take a closer look at the statistics.  Then take a close look at stiffer laws and more effective consequences for people who hurt the ones they are supposed to protect. 

Much Love.... I know you can help... and trust that you will.

SIGN THE PETITION HERE:

http://womensrights.change.org/petitions/view/children_are_our_future_then_why_do_judges_send_them_to_live_with_abusers

Rikki Dombrowski: Don’t Give Up – Love, Hope and Empowerment—The Sham in Shawnee County (Topeka, Kansas)

Your Mother Claudine Dombrowski Loves you and she is here for you when you can finally break free. She has not given up, she will not shut up and she will not go away!

“Granny died and her grand-daughter was not allowed to attend her funeral.”

“This tribute video was made– for three generations lost—destroyed by the Family Courts.”

“Granny, Mom and Rikki three hearts united across the universe and above and beyond the Shawnee County Courthouse MAFIA.”

 

Hope Love Power and enlightenment

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sun on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

 

When you awaken in the morning’s hush,

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

 

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there; I do not sleep.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there; I did not die.

by, Mary Elizabeth Frye

 

Sham in Shawnee County (Topeka, Kansas)

http://www.nowpublic.com/world/sham-shawnee-county-topeka-kansas

Sham in Shawnee County (Topeka, Kansas) The last time I did court watch for protective mother CLAUDINE DOMBROWSKI, I called my subsequent posting on the experience "Showdown in Shawnee County." See the post here:

http://dastardlydads.blogspot.com/2010/02/showdown-in-shawnee-county-we-finally.html

I can't even call the hearing held on October 19, 2010 a showdown. It was just a sham.

Let's do a little review. Claudine is a battered mother who lost custody of her only daughter in an ex parte hearing in 2004. (Ex parte means the mother wasn't even represented at the hearing.) Since then, she has had very little visitation. The hearing in January 2010 (see post above) was supposed to fix that. And finally, Claudine was awarded two hours of unsupervised visitation on Sunday and telephone contact twice a week. We figured it was a start.

Well, this was not to be. And not because of anything Claudine did.

As Claudine testified, visitation went well. She taught her now teenage daughter to drive. They shopped. They went to Barnes and Noble. They talked about girl stuff. Boy stuff. Just like any other mother and daughter. In fact, Claudine was able to enjoy her first mother's day with her daughter in ten years. There were no negative interactions. In fact, it looked like some serious healing was going on.

And in that lays the problem. You see, abusers and their enablers don't like healing. They find that supremely threatening to their power and control. So of course, the process must be stopped lest their domination of the child and the overall "situation" be compromised.

So in May 2010, all visitation stopped at Dad HAL RICHARDSON's personal discretion--which he admitted during his own testimony. He made the unilateral decision that he would no longer take his daughter to the law enforcement center for visitation (presumably at her "request"--but more on that later.) He made sure that during the times of designated phone contact, the phone was never answered as it was set on fax. (67 Direct Contempt's Dad admitted under oath that the phone does go to fax mode when not answered--though he denied "inhibiting" phone access, which is not surprising. But then, how did Mom know to testify that the phone was set on fax when she called? Oh those little details....) But of course, Dad didn't exactly encourage or welcome contact either--that much was evident. In fact, it was pretty clear to me that he was extremely negative about Claudine, and doing his best to crush any contact between her and her daughter.

But like many abusers, he projected his own motives onto the child, now a teenager. SHE was the one who was "uncomfortable." She was the one who was "afraid." Afraid of what? Physical abuse, sexual violence? No, there was no evidence of that beyond vague innuendos about "fighting" that allegedly occurred in the distant past (These innuendos weren't even brought up in January. Must be a new game plan.)

Apparently we are supposed to believe that this teenage girl is "afraid" because Mom allegedly doesn't "follow the rules." What rules? Apparently the court's rules regarding discussion of this case.

All this was echoed by Guardian ad Litem JILL DYKES. And once again, just as in January, Ms. Dykes didn't even feign professional neutrality in this case, as she literally sat at Daddy's elbow the whole time.

Are you kidding me? The typical teenager would blow off a parent's attempt to discuss court matters--ASSUMING any such discussion took place, which Claudine denies. They certainly wouldn't be "afraid" of such a discussion. Annoyed perhaps. But not "afraid" or traumatized. This is just classic projection. That this teenager is such a hothouse flower that she is somehow irreparably injured by any possible or potential references to her parents' legal issues, which I'm sure she already knows all about anyway. Nonsense.

I would humbly suggest that it is Hall Richardson and his enablers who are "afraid" of any possible open or frank discussion of this case. Or any contact between this mother and daughter. And their little "feelings" shouldn't play any part of this.

Under Kansas law, visitation isn't shut off because somebody is "uncomfortable" for vague and specious reasons. If that were the case, then controlling and manipulative parents would be cutting off access for whatever reason they dreamed up that day.

Unfortunately, given the dynamics of domestic violence, children who are in the control of abusers often find it necessary to parrot what the abusers want for their own survival. Which makes if very difficult for this child to speak up and articulate what she wants--except in private to her own mother.

And frankly, this ordeal shows a complete double standard. Were this a custodial mother blocking visitation for such vague and specious reasons, she would no doubt be labeled as an "alienator" with "parental alienation syndrome" (PAS). And the situation would be addressed immediately--either visitation would be enforced by the courts or the mother would lose custody all together. But I digress.

So no visitation from May to the present. But this actually was a minor issue as far as the court was concerned.

No, once again our major concern was Claudine's political activity. The players in Shawnee County are very upset with how well known this case has become (my last blog posting on this case had readers as far away as Australia.) And they are blaming Claudine for all of it, even though when pushed, Judge DAVID DEBENHEIM fiercely denied that he was trying to "stomp" on Claudine's first amendment rights. (Huh. Could have fooled me.)

But even in cases where OTHER bloggers like Nancy Carroll at Rights for Mothers had discussed this case (http://rightsformothers.com/), Claudine was blamed. In fact, the opposing attorney submitted into evidence printouts from NANCY's blog to show that Claudine was out of compliance with their gag order. Message to the Hoffmans: Nancy is not Claudine. I'm not Claudine either, for that matter. And you can't shut us up.

And honestly, did the Hoffmans really have to embarrass their employee like that? They trotted out a young and painfully ignorant employee of theirs to "testify" about Claudine's "alleged" facebook and twitter activities. This fresh-faced young woman--no more than a high school graduate with a few "computer" classes--earnestly told us that every posting and link on somebody's facebook page had to personally "approved" and/or "posted" by that person. Yes, dear friends. She did say that. And meant it too, so far as I can tell. I won't give her name, though it's in my notes. I refuse to further humilate her. But honestly, your great aunt Rose probably knows more about facebook than this girl.

So the significance of this was what? There are supposedly "references" to her case on Claudine's facebook page! Oh the horror! And you know what? This blog may very well end up with a link on Claudine's facebook page, too--through an automatic feed mechanism. It will go straight to facebook--even when Claudine is sleeping or brushing her teeth. Or sitting in court. Because you know what? Claudine is a well networked activist with probably hundreds of facebook friends working on issues related to child abuse, domestic violence, human rights, and family court reform. Many of us have discussed this case before. Just as we have discussed many other cases like this one, where the courts have backed up the abuser and shut out or ignored the protective mother. And for your information, you'll find articles and links about those cases as well.

And all this policing of Claudine's personal and political activities on the internet is particularly hypocritical when you consider the following: Attorney JASON P. HOFFMAN and GAL JILL DYKES had no qualms about violating professional ethical boundaries and becoming facebook "friends" with this child! (I saw the screen shots.) Mom can't even post a photo of her daughter per court order, but these folks feel free to do as they like. Not that the judge was interested in this matter at all. Big surprise there.

And this is the crux of the matter. What the court in Shawnee County REALLY doesn't like is that--as they put it--this lady "has a cause." Or she has "become a cause." They don't like the "venom" (i.e. the truth) that has come out about this case, and the attention it has received nationally and even internationally. They don't even like Claudine's facial expressions! (Yes, the judge made a point of addressing this. "You are your own worst enemy!" he thundered at Claudine--apparently over some grimace or frown that I didn't see.)

So make sure you never show anything but a happy face in front of Judge Debenham, even when you are possibly losing all contact with your only child!

Claudine is supposed to hear later this afternoon what the court's decision is--after her daughter will presumably be allowed to speak her mind with the judge. But of course, she can't really speak her mind--not as long as she's a minor and dependent on her father.

We are not optimistic as to the outcome.

But you know what? In a little over two years, this girl ages out of the system's control over her life. Perhaps then, real change will come about.

Abusers and their enablers often win the battles. But they seldom win the war. That puts off any real healing in this case for another two years.

But at least it's something to hope for.

Continue reading at NowPublic.com: Sham in Shawnee County (Topeka, Kansas) | NowPublic News Coverage http://www.nowpublic.com/world/sham-shawnee-county-topeka-kansas#ixzz1CN6yB4FW

 

Claudine Dombrowski and the love for her Daughter Rikki Dombrowski – Fly High Fly Free--- they can not chain the wind, no matter how hard they try.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Parental Alienation: It's About More Than "A Uterus, Divorce Papers and Bruises" Cathy Meyer Certified Divorce Coach, Marriage Educator and Legal Investigator

and a complete sock puppet to the whores of the court Dr. William Bernet, Dr. Richard Warshak, Dr. Richard Gardner.

.huffingtonpost.com/cathy-meyer/parental-alienation-its-a_b_807641 . html

 

Comments:

A recent study showed that 49% of Statistics are made up -- 'on the spot'.
as per your quoted: "Judith Ray, a licensed family therapist in Colorado Springs."- name your reference.


FACTS:
APA: The Evidentiar­y Admissibil­ity of Parental Alienation Syndrome: American Psychiatri­c Associatio­n http://www­.apa.org/p­i/pii/fami­lyvio/issu­e5.html
Evidence shows that women who raise concerns about family violence during custody litigation run the risk of losing their children to the bogus pseudo-non scientific PAS.
http://www­.leadershi­pcouncil.o­rg/1/pas/f­aq.htm
PAS only exists among men who have battered the mother and seek to further 'control' and 'punish' the mother for leaving. http://bit­.ly/cYjXEg
Domestic Violence (DV) by Proxy: Why Terrorist Tactics Employed by Batterers Are Not "PAS"
http://www­.leadershi­pcouncil.o­rg/1/pas/D­VP.html
There is valid research legal and psychiatri­c just to mention a scant few of the many: the American District Attorneys Associatio­n, The National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges: Judicial Guide to Child Safety in Custody Cases. http://www­.ncjfcj.or­g/images/s­tories/dep­t/fvd/pdf/­judicial%20guide.p­df
A very dangerous article- this gets people killed. Sadly, they are the domestic violence victims and or their children. http://bit­.ly/9yYhlB

=======

It once again seems that as in your article you do not separate PAS allegation­s and Domestic Violence. You lump then into one. It is wrong to dismiss domestic violence so nonchalant­ly.
Have read Dr Evan Starks 'Coercive Control" part of the book is on Google Books here is a intro to his book http://bit­.ly/fp1Pqh
The Civic Research Institute ( A Law Center) has also addressed this most recently in Domestic Violence, Abuse and Child Custody http://www­.civicrese­archinstit­ute.com/dv­ac.html

========

One of Dr. William Bernet's criteria is a child be an "independe­nt thinker." OMG, as a child who watched my mother get beat all the time, and not liking my father for it, which I independen­tly thought of myself, I am appalled!

=========

 

There is a problem with the author's analysis of domestic violence (DV) and its connection with PAS. It is shortsight­ed to say that the victim of DV has only an individual justificat­ion to limit a batterer's contact with the victim and not with the children.

Check any domestic violence research and you will find that DV is learned behavior. Allowing a batterer unfettered contact with the children condones the abuser's conduct and sends a message to the children to accept the abuser's conduct as being permissible and normal.

As an attorney with over 30 years experience in the field of family law, I would expect at a minimum that an adult batterer in a child custody case participat­e in anger management treatment and some form of family systems counseling to ensure that the children will not be replicatin­g the abusive cycle in their future adult relationsh­ips.

=============

 

The Children's Legal Rights Journal has an excellent piece on evidentiar­y admissibil­ity of "PAS"
http://www­.thelizlib­rary.org/l­iz/Hoult-P­ASarticlec­hildrensla­wjournal.p­df

 

===============

What is the reference for the statistic that PAS is 50-50? Somebody's word is not evidence. That's shoddy journalism­. It's nowhere in the literature­, while the fact that it's used against women in the majority of cases is.
Where is the background material on the FAthers Rights Movement - most consider them a backlash group to women's gains (antifemin­ist)- even scholarly writings.
This blog post is using NOW as a punching bag despite the fact that legal, medical and psychologi­cal organizati­ons have all discredite­d PAS.
Is NOW easier to attack? Easier to gain proponents­? That would be shame to use this tactic rather than the scientific merits of a so-called pschologic­al diagnosis.

==================

 

The man who created PAS was badly discredite­d and publicly shamed when his exaggerati­ons about his credential­s and his methods were exposed. Sad to say, he died a violent death at his own hands - a knife plunged into his throat and heart - and there are those who believe he suffered from a debillitat­ing and incurable painful illness, while others connect it to the profession­al and public shame he began to experience­. He made a great deal of money testifying in court, more often hired by attorneys representi­ng the father. Most of his work in identifyin­g "PAS" was based on the mother's behavior. In fact, most of his research was based on mother-per­petrated parental alienation­. It was not only individual­s, but gender-inc­lusive profession­al groups that declared his work to have no merit - including the American Psychologi­cal Associatio­n.
All in all, the behavior of trying to influence children not to freely love the other parent is despicable­. However, basing it on the work of Richard Gardner is like making apple pie out of rotten, worm-ridde­n apples. We've really got to look at gender-neu­tral, individual behaviors, rather than bashing advocacy movements like NOW and the Father's Rights groups. That just isn't productive­. Helping individual­s, however, is very productive­.

 

===============

 

And sadly experts have all agreed that there are many misdiagnos­is of Borderlin­e - in which BPD is being mistaken for PTSD. And quite simply the best way to cure PTSD is to remove the trauma. For many abused mothers it is recurring trauma to be forced to send her children to an abusive man. One need only look at recent headlines (http://das­tardlydads­.blogspot.­com) to realize that many many more men are hurting women and children than women hurting men and children. And it is really sad that a person's right to be free from abuse is trumped by a parents right to have a relationsh­ip with a child. I have passed along the posts made concerning this to a blogger who exposes female (mother) hatred and she has assured me that a post will be forthcomin­g.

=========

Cathy, the American Judges Associatio­n, the American Bar Associatio­n, the National District Attorney's Associatio­n and the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges have all debunked "PAS" with the latter warning family court judges the last couple of years not to accept claims of "parental alienation syndrome" or "parental alienation­" because of its well know use by abusers to get child custody from their victims. This is their words directly in their judge's guide. It is horrific to have children go to a mother's abuser. I had it happen to me as a child, and again as a mother. It is a popular legal tool of abuse that is happening frequently­. A conservati­ve estimate of 58,000 children a year are given to abusers was released last year. Also, the American Bar Associatio­n on their website dealing with domestic violence and child custody said in their research, they found that among false allegation­s, fathers were far more likely to use false allegation­s vs. mothers (21% versus 1.3%). They indicated in this document that claims of "parental alienation­" from abusers were definitely a problem and they were getting custody of children with this favorite legal tool of abuse. This all comes not from a child and a mother who has suffered at the hands of an abuser getting custody, but from many profession­al organizati­ons seeing victims of abuse losing their children because of the psych's running wild through the courts, making lots of $$$ doing this.

=================

"I am more interested in protecting a child from the harm parental alienation does than protecting a few women who have suffered abuse. Especially since it would seem, the children are being abused by PAS at a higher rate than women are being abuse by a husband."

A few moms who have suffered 'abuse'??? 1-3 women will experience domestic violence in their life times.
How many of those 3 have children?


The leading cause of death to pregnant women is intimate partner violencehttp://bit­.ly/fpD4l4 WOW!!! How many women get pregnant?
This is truly scary on its own with out the 'control' of yet one more thing PAS, HAP or any other buzz word for leniency and dismal of physical crimes against persons. a Felony unless of course the victim is is your wife. then it becomes 'domestic'­ barely a misdemeano­r.

We as a society really do not care about our children to allow their mothers to be killed and their children taken when they do try to leave.

 

================

Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women 18-24. At least 3 women die every day. In family court, estimates run high for domestic violence since family court is "the place" for high conflict and abuse.


Use of the term PAS does not only punish and harm women - it harms children. A study done by Harvard's Jay Silverman found that about 54% of cases involving child sexual abuse, a counter of PAS was used.
When any allegation of abuse in used in court - DV, child abuse, or child sexual abuse - PA can be used to counter the claim.


The web site on the Nat'l District Attorney's Associatio­n says PA harms abused children.


It would either be disingenuous or biased to say there is no harm to children from the misuse of PA.

Furthermor­e, NOW is a convenient punching bag - far more legal, scientific and psychologi­cal associatio­ns have warned against the use of PA.

The Women in Pschycolog­y web site lists several mental health claims that are biased towards women, including PA - - why weren't they attacked? Way too easy to attack NOW and not fair to readers to ignore all the organizati­ons that discredit PAS.

=======

So the American Judges Associatio­n, American Bar Associatio­n, the National District Attorney's Associatio­n and the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges are hate groups? They have all debunked the use of "parental alienation­" in courts because of it's well known use by abusers in court. Do children get lied to and do parents behave badly? Yes, they do, but children aren't that guilable. One of the criteria in Dr. William Bernet's definition of "parental alienation disorder" is that a child is an "independe­nt thinker." Come on...as a child victim given to an abuser, I am appalled by this.

=====

Parental Alienation: It Is About "A Uterus, Divorce Papers and Bruises"

Cathy Meyer of the Huffington Post  – a pro abuser and pro pedophile used the title

Parental Alienation: It's About More Than "A Uterus, Divorce Papers and Bruises"

to once again Diminish Domestic Violence, protect the abusers, and pom-mom ra-ra for the psycho quacks like Dr. Richard Warshak who make a profit pushing this dangerous child and mother killing yet highly profitable ‘theory’  —

Sadly after the few articles that are factual in content get published as with below article – and Cathy Meyer -- in response to –  article as titled above--as is the trend with mainstream media. http://huff.to/dXUDKG -- Huff post really goes all out to protect these abusers, pedophiles and killers. HuffPo should be disgraced—but they are not.

So Cathy Meyer and HuffPo --here’s to you and your inept journalistic skills—fortunately there are other and better bloggers.

Parental Alienation and Domestic Violence

by Joan Dawson

  th_m_54606bcb550f7f79a7090e9dc49b7050

“I hope there’s more cases just like this, where people don’t want to let their spouses see their kids…I hope it happens more and more, until the law finally says you know what? There needs to be something done so these parents can be with their kids.”

These were the words fired by Randall Todd Moore as he denied having “not one ounce of remorse” for kidnapping, sexually assaulting and killing his ex-wife.

But was his ex-wife ‘alienating’ the kids, as Moore alleged, or trying to protect them from danger?

This case is clear, but as those working in domestic violence and child abuse realize, all too often clarity comes at a price.

Parental alienation (PA, or PAS for Parental Alienation Syndrome), a topic pro-PA psychologist Richard Warshak recently covered on Huffington Post, alleges a parent poisons the mind of a child to fear or hate the other parent. The defamation results in a damaged relationship or estrangement.

Those opposing parental alienation admit parents can bad-mouth the other parent either deliberately or inadvertently; however, factors such as poor parenting skills or personality on the part of the mother or father and stages of normal development or reactions to divorce on the part of the child can also cause alienating behaviors.

Dr. Paul Fink, President of the Leadership Council on Child Abuse and Interpersonal Violence, and a former President of the American Psychiatric Association states, “Science tells us that the most likely reason that a child becomes estranged from a parent is that parent’s own behavior. Labels, such as PAS, serve to deflect attention away from those behaviors.”

More dangerously, parental alienation can mask domestic violence, child abuse and child sexual abuse. What is the difference between fearful or uncooperative battered women and alienating,” vindictive” mothers? If parents try to withhold access to children, are they alienators or protectors? If they try to provide evidence of abuse – interviews with psychologists, medical examinations or discussions with the child – are they gathering proof or further alienating the ex? What is the difference between alienated children and abused children?

The behaviors can be indistinguishable.

Indeed, it’s not just domestic violence survivors’ advocates who witness the problem with PA. The American Bar Association, American Prosecutors Research Institute, National District Attorneys Association, and the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges all denounce the use of parental alienation in the courtroom. The National District Attorneys Association says on their Web site, “PAS is an unproven theory that can threaten the integrity of the criminal justice system and the safety of abused children.”

That hasn’t stopped courts from using PAS, resulting in accusations against individuals, mostly women, of maliciously denying access to children.

Katie Tagle, for instance, sought a restraining order on Jan. 21, 2010 against her ex-boyfriend Stephen Garcia to stop him from having unsupervised visitation with their nine-month-old child.

She told the judge Garcia threatened to kill the infant. The court transcript records Judge Robert Lemkau as saying, “One of you is lying,” and later, “Mr. Garcia claims its total fabrication on your part.” Garcia also referred to it as “little stunts and games” that she used to deny him access to his son.

Even when she tries to produce evidence of the threats, he says, “Well, ma’am, there’s a real dispute about whether that’s even true or not.” And finally, “My suspicion is that you’re lying” (said twice). He denied her the order (as did two other judges). Garcia took their son that day and drove off into the mountains. Ten days later, they were both found dead.
The transcript is here: http://www.scribd.com/doc/26434649/tagle-garcia-court-transcript-dent-protection-to-baby-now-bay-is-DEAD

This case clearly demonstrates another issue women have in courts: credibility. It’s easier to believe a woman is lying than to believe a man can abuse or kill a woman or child. In reality, in family court, denying abuse is more common than fabricating tales of abuse. Most allegations are made in good faith (see the American Bar Association’s 10 Custody Myths and How to Counter Them). And most denials are made by perpetrators, perpetrators skillful at manipulation – even of professionals.

Indeed, we must not forget family court is the place for couples with high conflict and abuse. The overwhelming majority (up to 90%) of couples create their own parenting plans. Those that cannot, go to family court.

Judges, though, have been known to downplay even well-documented cases of abuse and to give more weight to parental alienation than to abuse allegations. In the case of Jennifer Collins, for example, the judge told her mother to “get over” the abuse as at least two years had passed, according to Collins’ Web site. The judge reversed the custody decision because her mom’s fear was “interfering in his relationship with us.” Jennifer’s mother Holly took her two children and fled to the Netherlands, where they were granted asylum. (See also the Courageous Kids Network of children who were court-ordered into relationships with abusive parents.)

58,000 children a year go into sole or joint custody arrangements or unsupervised visitation with physically or sexually abusive parents, according to an estimate by the Leadership Council on Child Abuse and Interpersonal Violence. That’s over 1,000 children a week the courts place in harm’s way.

Giving custody to the supposedly alienated parent is one way to “solve” the problem of parental alienation. Jailing the mother is another.

Tiffany Barney and Joyce Murphy are two women who’ve been jailed; their cases were covered in the media. Both alleged child sexual abuse and neither were believed. Barney fought for five years, at times losing custody or having limited supervised visitation. Murphy was called “toxic” to her daughter and deemed the cause of the child fearing her father. She fled with her daughter. When found, she was jailed for felony abduction and later granted limited visitation. It wasn’t until three more girls came forward with molestation charges that her ex was finally the one jailed.

A few other cases making headlines include: Court Punishes Woman in Alienation Case; WI: Judge Jails Mother over Daughter’s Refusal to Visit Father and Judge Dismisses Abuse Allegations.

To sum it up, any behavior that does not promote access to children can be classified as parental alienation and punished with jail time or limits on/loss of custody. With this threat, parents are less likely to report abuse and more likely to share custody with an abuser.

It should also be noted that when violent partners make good on their threats to take the kids away, it’s referred to as domestic violence by proxy -a continuation of domestic violence – rather than PA or PAS. Some battered women who’ve lost custody use PA or PAS to describe their particular situation. This both minimizes the nature and scope of abuse women face and promotes the use of a dangerous weapon (PA/PAS) that can be used against them in court.

I wouldn’t hand an angry man a gun, nor would I readily hand over a legal strategy to potential pedophiles, abusers or killers. Yet that is exactly what PA/PAS is doing.

For more information, visit:

The Leadership Council on Child Abuse and Interpersonal Violence

Stop Family Violence

Center for Judicial Excellence

TONIGHT!! American Mothers Political Party Show- 5 PM CST, 6 PM EST -- CALL IN (347) 205-9977

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/americanmotherspoliticalparty/2011/01/27/still-standing

Call-in Number: (347) 205-9977

Watch more Videos at Vodpod.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AMPP is a social movement seeking justice and accountability within the family court system which includes DHHS/CPS, psychologists and other so called experts.

  • We as mothers demand CITIZENSHIP and our Rights to our Children.
  • We demand that our children not be used as pawns by our abuser in a custody dispute.
  • We demand that Mothers and Children be equally protected against court ordered visitation with an abuser.
  • We demand that Mothers and Children be given the same rights, privileges and voice that the abuser gets in family courts!
  • We demand that our President take action now as can no longer afford to be silent and we won’t.
  • We demand the same "rights and freedoms" to which all humans are entitled.

Behind the closed doors of the dirty little secret of the family court system, thousands of women each year lose child custody to violent men who beat and abuse Mothers and Children.

Family courts are not family-friendly and betray the best interests of the child.

Until Mothers and Children's voices are heard we will never shut up, give up or go away!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

ROBIN YEAMANS: DUE PROCESS, EQUAL PROTECTION, AND TAKING CUSTODY SCAMS TO THE FEDERAL COURTS

Interviews from the 2011 Battered Mothers Custody Conference

Robin Yeamans is one of three California attorneys certified as a specialist in both family and appellate law.   Her website at www.divorcecal.com features videos that help people without attorneys.  In this video, she answers Anne Grant’s questions about due process, equal protection, and taking custody scams to the federal courts.

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/battered-mothers-custody-conference

 

THE WORST MISTAKES MOTHERS MAKE IN CHILD CUSTODY CASES

Some very good advice, from the Liz Library:

(1) Taking their children to therapists.  We have yet to see ONE case in which the mother is having continuing litigation mess that cannot be traced back to her choice or agreement at some point to her taking the child in for therapy. For whatever reason. Undoubtedly there are cases in which this is done and nothing bad happens (although we seriously doubt there ever is much benefit). However, in every single seriously fucked-up case we have seen, belief in psychology and bringing the child in for one reason or another is the first mistake, the domino that sets everything else in motion.

(2) Rocking the boat. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. Women screw up by rocking the boat when it’s reasonably stable, usually by filing a petition for child support in a new paternity action, or for an increase in child support in a post-divorce action, and less often by filing a petition for modification for purposes of relocation or just because.

(3) Agreeing to joint custody or too much father custody (usually in mediation) at the time of the initial custody determination.

(4) Talking in conclusory language, rather than the language of the senses (what was actually seen and heard), e.g. “he’s abusive”, “the child was afraid”, and language of exaggeration (adjectives) and psycholingo, e.g. “very”, “disclosed”.

(5) Not looking at the big long-term picture. The immediate psychic reward of taking a negative action or saying something obnoxious isn’t worth it.

(6) Having discussions in writing with the ex. Writing should be avoided except to memorialize and confirm “what we agreed to” by telephone, and to send one- or two-sentence pleasant trivialities. “Hi Joe — Junior said he liked the movie you guys saw this weekend. Here’s a copy of the picture he drew of it…”

(7) Relying too much on the lawyer. Except in extraordinary circumstances, litigants should strive to never let the lawyer go to court for anything without being there. Litigants should insist that a court reporter be brought to all hearings and anything at which evidence otherwise is developed for a case. Litigants should never allow themselves to be pressured into making any agreement without time to sleep on it (if it’s really an agreement, it will still be agreeable tomorrow). Litigants should never give lawyers precious originals of any document. Litigants should inform their lawyers that -no- agreements whatsoever may be made which affect substantive claims in the case (as opposed to clerical and procedural issues) without their prior approval.

WATCH YOUR LEGISLATORS: DANGEROUS BILLS SEEM MORE PLENTIFUL THIS YEAR

Well, it’s that time of the year again.  Legislators are running amuck,  introducing crazy bills they are trying to get enacted into law.  One of the most important things you can do as a voting citizen is to be aware of the bills that are being introduced into your state house.  After all, change in the courts will need to come from these lawmakers.  Knowing what they are doing is very helpful, especially when they are trying to keep social workers and psychologists employed by trying to pass bills like the one below.  Google “legislative bills for 2011 in (insert your state here).”

If a woman (or man) is trying to escape a bad situation, the worst thing they can do is force the couple into counseling.  The situation can become dangerous…it did in my situation.  It is not in the best interest of the children to have them abused after the abusive parent leaves a forced counseling session frustrated.  The bill below, LB 408, is in Nebraska.  If you are from Nebraska, and think this is a dangerous bill (hint: IT IS), watch for any committee hearings on this bill.  Speak out about it.  It may be your own life you are saving.  Those in other states…please look into what your elected officials are doing, and see if they are doing their job for all the people they represent.

Divorce counseling bill introduced

By John Schreier
WORLD-HERALD BUREAU

Published Thursday January 13, 2011

LINCOLN — The road to divorce for couples with children might become a lot longer under a bill introduced Thursday in the Legislature.

State Sen. Tony Fulton of Lincoln introduced Legislative Bill 408, which would give judges the option of sending married couples with minor children to marriage counseling before being granted a divorce.

It’s one of three judicial options that Fulton proposes in LB 408. The others are continuing divorce proceedings for no longer than six months, in hopes of reconciliation, or taking other actions deemed in the best interests of the parents and children.

Fulton’s desire to address divorce stems from his view that family stability is important to society.

“A strong marriage is healthy for the children who are brought up in that marriage, certainly,” he said. “A strong marriage is also healthy for those two who are in the marriage.”

However, Stephanie Payne, a Lincoln lawyer specializing in family and divorce law, says most couples ­she deals with — especially those with children — have already taken steps to save their marriages.

“I believe Nebraskans should freely enter marriage and have the good sense to know when to end it,” she said. “I don’t think people end marriage lightly, especially those with children.”

In 2009, 6,084 couples divorced in Nebraska, according to the Department of Health and Human Services, and 51.5 percent of divorcing couples had children younger than 19 years old.

Dr. Dave Robinson, a family therapist at the University of Nebraska Medical Center, said he was intrigued by the bill’s potential.

“The idea behind it sounds interesting, sounds helpful,” said Robinson, the president of Nebraska’s chapter of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. “But we need two people really willing to work for it.”

The bill also would give courts the authority to require marriage counseling in divorce actions where no minor children are involved, if one spouse believes the marriage can be saved.

While Fulton expects opponents of his bill to cite the costs of therapy, which can run as high as $120 per hour, he points to increased violence in Omaha as a societal toll of broken families.

“Certainly one of the factors has to do with a stable family environment,” Fulton said. “I hope folks in Omaha see there is some wisdom in having strong marriages and healthy marriages.”

Contact the writer:
john.schreier@owh.com

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Responsible Fatherhood”: What Do Women Have to Do with It?

(found on a blog titled:  soros.org, surely identifying with the downtrodden, and labeled “OPEN SOCIETIES — building Vibrant and Tolerant Democracies.  How many people do you know whose mission is “building” a democracy?  How about some live and let live?)

October 12, 2010 | by Stacey Bouchet and Julia Hayman Hamilton

There are many national and local efforts focused around the issue of fatherhood in the United States. They are necessary and encouraging, but we are convinced that women’s voices are also essential to their success and sustainability. That’s why our organization, Women In Fatherhood, Inc.(WIFI), recently joined with the Open Society Campaign for Black Male Achievement in its work to strengthen low-income families and communities through the support of positive father involvement.

We are launching a media campaign, “In the Words of Women,” to raise awareness about the importance of fathers.

What — FATHERHOOD.gov, Fatherhood.HHS.gov, Fathers.com, and Fatherhood COmmissions around the country, National fatherhood initiative, state-level “fatherhood initiatives” and all the CFDA 93086 on “Healthy Marriage and Responsible Fatherhood”  millions — and it indeed Was then, Is Now, and I gather “Ever Shall Be” million$$ — to promote these things — again with PUBLIC $$ and faith-based collaboratives at times — isn’t that enough?

It takes more than absence of  Y chromosome to qualify to be a VOICE of a WOMAN that needs to be heard nationwide .  This is more paid-for static paid for by the majority white male, still, Congress.  And I never used to talk like this before.  I’ll try to post the brochure which states this clearly — but my laptop battery is about to die.

Here’s just one of this august board of directors (probably great women in their own rights — but they are on a cause that is hurting others, so I feel very free to speak out about the farce.  First white dudes (Wade Horn et al), go after inner-city  urban churches (i.e., the black vote) to make like fatherhood agenda is NOT racist.  That under the belt, they then go get some women (including, in case below, a wife of a fatherhood pioneer) and front them to say “we speak for women.”

Frances Ballard

Petrice Sams-AbiodunFrances Ballard is the Executive Director for the National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse (NRFC). In her role she is responsible for the strategic direction and leadership for activities regarding the NRFC, including the coordination of the media campaign, clearinghouse and Web site, Training and Technical Assistance (T & TA) to responsible fatherhood demonstration sites, and building relationships and partnerships for NRFC.She has over 20 years experience working with fathers, families and healthcare. Her previous positions include 12 years serving as the Vice President and Chief Operating Officer for The Institute for Responsible Fatherhood and Family Revitalization; Consultant to The Annie E. Casey Foundation’s Making Connections Program; ***

Director of Corporate Development and Clinical Manager-Ambulatory Care, Grace Hospital; and Nurse Consultant/Program Developer, The Institute For Responsible Fatherhood and Family Development. She holds a Masters of Science Degree in Nursing Administration, a B.A. in Social Work, an A.S. in Nursing, and numerous executive management certifications.She is married to Dr. Charles A. Ballard, “pioneer” of the Fatherhood Movement and the mother of their three children, Jonathan, Lydia and Christopher.

At the bottom is a link to her husband, and his “faith.”  Makes me wonder about the separation of church and state, and where it went…***

** kind of reminds me of Wade Horn and the HHS Connection.  Maybe that’s the “CONNECTIONS” they are really dealing with ..

Well, has your local church (wear the shoe if it fits) stopped seeking tithes and offerings yet? Has hell (fatherlessness, I guess) froze over yet.  Is the Vatican scaling back?  Then the answer, evidently, is NO.

Again, I repeat:  ”How gullible

do they think we (mothers) are?”

Look — if readers can put up with  my (lack of proper) formatting and failing to spellcheck on this post, the URLs on it are great lead-ins to what the courts are about.  I have the links, it’s up to you to THINK, and continue to see if the puzzle pieces are starting to assemble into the larger picture.  More later, I hope, and this is my contribution to the Major Holiday that today represents. What depths we have sunk to on high, sacrificing civil rights and  consitutional rights for someone (else’s, not Martin luther King, Jr.’s) “I HAVE A DREAM” about Fathers & Families (no “mothers”) and a totally organized, uniform controlled workforce run by foundations, and executed through the family law and etc. court systems, all a seamless, no-conflict whole, run from the top.  Sounds like what some World Wars were fought over, last century, only we’re on the wrong side, on this one — in trying Designer Family USA.

I’ll try & include the ilnk to the brochure stating, clearly, that the HHS paid to have certain dialogues put forth, and that NCADV was a recommended conference to attend in the Fatherhood matters.  Also telling in that brochure is that (unlike the Bible, which seems to be so foundational to many of these agenda) the phrasing was fathers & families, or Fathers & children, community, etc.  The word ‘mother”?  I don’t think it was even on the two -page glitz blitz promo page.

It’s in the Ten Commandments.  But, these family folk can’t seem to consistently choke out the word in their rhetoric.

Remember — Please THINK about the LINK — and the word “Please” has a “PLEA” in it — from me, at the start of 2011, and over four years since my profession was destroyed by the presence of these programs in and around the courtrooms.

Courts are being paid by Father's rights groups, by minors counsels and others favorite appointees' to give custody to the abuser.

Glenn Sacks Gets Served by Domestic Violence Survivor

UPDATED!! 2/15

Jennifer Collins has done a great write-up on the "father's right's" coward, Glenn Sacks, that has continuously vilified her mother, Holly Collins. Holly Collins fled to the Netherlands with her children after the Hennepin County Minnesota family court system awarded child custody to a man who abused them all. Glenn Sacks accuses the mom of fabricating the abuse and continues his vengeful attack on Holly's grown daughter, Jennifer. He insists that Jennifer is suffering from parental alienation syndrome (although "psych" "diagnoses" cannot be made without a "professional" interviewing and evaluating all parties) and lying about the past abuse.

Read Jennifer's two-part piece:

The Real Glenn Sacks

and

College Student Jennifer Collins Exposes the Real Glen Sacks

If you are unfamiliar the the entire ordeal, it would help if you read some of the other posts she has done in which she describes how Glenn Sacks has assaulted her family.

I can only admire the courage Jennifer has continue to exhibit in battling this coward and his minions. Many have told her to stop, because he will cause her more harm, but I can understand that when someone just lies so damn much, you can't help but to defend yourself. Glenn Sacks is a bully and most people don't stand up to bullies. But this isn't grade school.

After reading both of Jennifer's pieces, the conclusion I have come to is that Glenn Sacks has very poor self-esteem and resulting extreme projection issues. I mean, it's really, really bad. So bad that I wonder if secretly he believes all these bad things about men...you know, deep, deep, down inside. He must know, deep, deep down inside, that all of the men that flock to him can't possibly all be falsely accused, or "robbed" of their parental relationships.

For now, I'm going to jump on the train of pscyhoanalyzation...shit, everyone else does it!

Glenn Sacks is indeed a bully. From WebMD:

(emphasis mine)

Children who bully:

* May witness physical and verbal violence or aggression at home. They have a positive view of this behavior, and they act aggressively toward other people, including adults.

* May hit or push other children.

* Are often physically strong.

* May or may not be popular with other children around their same age.

* Have trouble following rules.

* Show little concern for the feelings of others.

Many bullies think highly of themselves. They like being looked up to. And they often expect everyone to behave according to their wishes. Children who bully are often not taught to think about how their actions make other people feel.

    I utilize the child bully article because Glenn Sacks' behavior is really childlike. I can imagine him sitting at home searching for misandry with a magnifying glass, with his arms crossed in front of his chest and his bottom lip poked out. My thought is that his bullying behavior prevents him from other destructive behaviors like drug abuse or alcoholism.

    But here's a piece on adult bullying. Wait, there are waaaay too many characteristics! Let's just pick out the best:

    (emphasis mine)

    • is a convincing, practised liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment

    • has a Jekyll and Hyde nature - is vile, vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses; no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature - only the current target of the serial bully's aggression sees both sides; whilst the Jekyll side is described as "charming" and convincing enough to deceive personnel, management and a tribunal, the Hyde side is frequently described as "evil";Hyde is the real person, Jekyll is an act

    • excels at deception and should never be underestimated in their capacity to deceive

    • uses excessive charm and is always plausible and convincing when peers, superiors or others are present (charm can be used to deceive as well as to cover for lack of empathy)

    • is glib, shallow and superficial with plenty of fine words and lots of form - but there's no substance

    • is possessed of an exceptional verbal facility and will outmanoeuvre most people in verbal interaction, especially at times of conflict

    • relies on mimicry, repetition and regurgitation to convince others that he or she is both a "normal" human being and a tough dynamic manager, as in extolling the virtues of the latest management fads and pouring forth the accompanying jargon

    • is unusually skilled in being able to anticipate what people want to hear and then saying it plausibly

    • is emotionally retarded with an arrested level of emotional development; whilst language and intellect may appear to be that of an adult, the bully displays the emotional age of a five-year-old

    • is emotionally immature and emotionally untrustworthy

    • exhibits unusual and inappropriate attitudes to sexual matters, sexual behaviour and bodily functions; underneath the charming exterior there are often suspicions or hints of sex discrimination and sexual harassment, perhaps also sexual dysfunction, sexual inadequacy, sexual perversion, sexual violence or sexual abuse

    • is self-opinionated and displays arrogance, audacity, a superior sense of entitlement and sense of invulnerability and untouchability

    • is a control freak and has a compulsive need to control everyone and everything you say, do, think and believe; for example, will launch an immediate personal attack attempting to restrict what you are permitted to say if you start talking knowledgeably about psychopathic personality or antisocial personality disorder in their presence - but aggressively maintains the right to talk (usually unknowledgeably) about anything they choose; serial bullies despise anyone who enables others to see through their deception and their mask of sanity

    • undermines and destroys anyone who the bully perceives to be an adversary, a potential threat, or who can see through the bully's mask

    • may pursue a vindictive vendetta against anyone who dares to held them accountable, perhaps using others' resources and contemptuous of the damage caused to other people and organisations in pursuance of the vendetta

    • is also quick to belittle, undermine, denigrate and discredit anyone who calls, attempts to call, or might call the bully to account

      Was that enough?

      I have separated the last few because I think they so perfectly fit in with Glenn Sacks and his role in the fathers' and men's right movement and the movement at large.

      • poisons peoples' minds by manipulating their perceptions

      • is arrogant, haughty, high-handed, and a know-all

      • often has an overwhelming, unhealthy and narcissistic attention-seeking need to portray themselves as a wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate person, in contrast to their behaviour and treatment of others; the bully sees nothing wrong with their behavior and chooses to remain oblivious to the discrepancy between how they like to be seen and how they are seen by others

      • is constantly imposing on others a false reality made up of distortion and fabrication

        • Now I'm going to borrow some of the Glenn Sacks quotes that Jennifer displayed:

          “I told my dad that I thought he lived a pathetic existence and I did not understand why he had much will to live at all.”

          Isn't it true that some people just love to work and in fact, are workaholics? Or maybe they just love money? Or maybe they love being providers? And if given the choice between working outside the home and perhaps being a homemaker, they would still choose the former? Why not respect that instead of the suicidal implications? People do not have the same desires or values.

          “The only credit left for men is the military, and even this has been partially hijacked. We now speak of ‘the men and women who fought and died in our wars’ as if even one percent of our military casualties were ever suffered by women, or as if women were ever conscripted the way men were.”

          Hijacked? Rather dramatic. No one said the deaths were equal but it would be correct to acknowledge that men and women die in the military...and they don't always have to be in combat. Is that so painful to admit?

          “While it's easy and popular to blame men, many of the wounds women bear from failed relationships and loneliness are self-inflicted.”

          There is enough blame to share. But a harsh reality that Sacks, and others like him, don't acknowledge (on purpose) is that a lot of this can be attributed not to fatherlessness, but to childhood sexual abuse or family violence in general (ask some real psychologists/psychiatrists who are fortunate to know their patients' entire histories). If abuse is a child's first intimate experience, it would stand to reason that there may be complications with adult intimate relationships.

          "Fathers need to start parenting the way they want to parent. When they do there's no guarantee that the mother will go along with it, and that can cause problems, but men need to stop waiting for their wives' approval."

          Hold up. This is a major red flag. I thought parenting in a relationship was a joint venture? If you want to have it your way, you should remain single and try adoption.

          “Most marital problems and marriage counseling sessions revolve around why the wife is unhappy with her husband,”

          There is a good damn reason for this: It is typically the women who profess to be unhappy, and the men who still don't have a clue for some reason. Also, women are the ones who initiatecounseling with the desire to improve the marital relationship. It is a good sign because she cares enough (or maybe bad sign because she still wants to hold on).

          “People in general seem convinced that stay-at-home moms get a raw deal and work much harder than breadwinner dads… Having been a stay-at-home dad with two kids during the years when they need the most intensive care, I can tell you that this is nonsense.”

          This one was hilarious. First, no two stay at home parents do the exact same thing in a day, parent the same, have the same responsibilities, etc...so it is completely unfair to make this generalization. There are some stay at homes whose kids are gone for the school day, and then have extra-curricular activities...perhaps the kids are independent and there is no need for parental help with school work. Too many variations. And sometimes it really isn't about the kids, wholly, but the totality of what is to be accomplished, or expected to accomplished, for the entire family.

          "I can't eliminate ... rap music that trashes women. So I choose the battles I can win, and go from there."

          The old misogynistic rap music argument used by White men...except they somehow fail to realize how it is evidence of misogyny, in general, that is endemic in our society. Black men don't trash Black women in a vacuum. Read some bell hooks. But the father's rights movement makes sure to target Black men into their hate camp without addressing Black issues at large. Works out quite nicely, doesn't it? (see Father's Rights Co-opting of Issues that Affect Families of Color)

          “Success in school is tightly correlated with the ability to sit still, be quiet, and complete work which is presented in a dull, assembly-line fashion… the methods and structure they employ are not suited to our sons' needs.”

          It doesn't fit many children's needs...boys and girls. However, seems that with all the complaining Sacks does, he'd just homeschool his son, especially since being a stay at home is so simple.

          “Many of our boys will have spent much of the day being scolded and punished, often for doing nothing more than being boys… each of these mistreated little boys…Everyone always says girls in school suffer; they have low self-esteem; teachers make them feel second best, blah blah blah… But it's obvious that, in general, girls are doing better in school, and boys are falling behind."

          Consider for a moment that boys may be suffering in our public school system because of the rigid gender roles that society, and their fathers parents, confine them to. Boys may want to be teachers, daycare providers, seamstresses, etc, but maybe they are limited by what peoplethink they should be. Feminism has opened up the realm for women to not only dream of being, but to be. Maybe that's why girls are excelling. But the folks in the fatherhood camps are always try to throw men back with the reclaiming of masculinity and other bullshit (note the number of times they talk about "emasculation"). The next part is a nice display:

          "we've made a lot of fathers into wimps--not only have many fathers been driven out of their kids lives by the family courts, not only do we have many women deciding to have kids on their own, but the fathers who are in the home have become a lot weaker because we've made the idea of a strong father into a bad thing."

          Wimps? And is this true, or have we made putting up with an abusive, drunk, cheating, assholish father a bad thing?

          Thank you Jennifer for doing the research and continuing to be strong. You are a survivor.

          I'd like to end with a clip to lighten things up a bit:

          The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

          Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

          Male Inequality

          www.thedailyshow.com

          Daily Show

          Full Episodes

          Political Humor

          Thought I was done. I want to include some lucid thoughts from an online divorce forum:

          (emphasis mine)

          That statement is the only REAL thing that exhists in Family Law Court. Don't contact Glenn S.u.c.k.s., excuse me, Sacks, for he and his group Fathers and Families are the REAL reason the Family Law Courts are out of control.

          This child was hurt because the system failed, not because the "mother" was diabolical. Glenn and his rabbid pack of dogs have been funding court corruption and there is plenty of proof. While they think they are getting the upper hand in Courtrooms all over the country, the only thing that is progressing is the just how much money the Judges, and all the corrupt players they appoint are now getting.

          You are supporting the corruption. Shame on you. This isn't happening because of women's groups. This is happening because of greed. Glenn S u c k s is not an expert, although, he is making money hand over fist, leading disturbed men astray, speaking and changing laws that were designed to protect children from abuse. He himself decided that NO child needs to be protected from abuse, be it abuse of a mother, or a father. He supports "alienation" theorys, which means that no child will be protected. Open the door and they all come flooding in, with excuse after excuse to drag court cases out for years, while the children are emotionally raped, and the parents are financially raped. Today the hot button is alienation, and tomorrow it will be something else. Stop supporting people that make excuses, solely for profit, which Glenn and all the other's have done.

          And another thing for Glenn to realize, by the age of three or four, children have either bonded or not to the parent. A court order isnt going to make them love you, respect you, or even want to be around you. It's the ego's of these parents that get in the way, of what the child needs.

          I was a long time supporter of Glenn, but once I found out about the funding, the corruption, and his own selfish goals, it became clear to me, he is just one more person, looking to profit.

          Research Justice4Fathers, the leader of that group (the origional group) abandon ship, once he saw just how far some men will go to "Win". This isn't a game. Children's lives are at stake. You have no idea what is really going on behind the scene, and to blame women for this, you are dead wrong.

          There are far more "groups" of men, who program them into thinking that if they use the system, they will get custody. They have stopped thinking about the children and their best interests. You want to read an article...

          http://www.everyman.org/articles/Ten_Reasons_Not_to_Fight_Custody_Battles.pdf

          Father's rights, Mother's rights...Enough is enough. You all are forgetting that children have rights. If you don't treat your children right, they will hate you. If you force them to be with you for the small amount of time until they become adults, and they just don't want to be with you, they will hate you for the rest of their lives. This is not a game. The mother for this child, may have played the game, but she lost now didn't she? Father's will loose too, because they have made and funded a new war.

          STOP THE FUNDING, AND JUST START BEING A GOOD PARENT.

          and:

          I agree. There is no protection for abused children in Family Law Courts. The origional post from the child unfortunately happened many years ago. Now things are different, and if you are a protective parent, like the poster #2, you will never be able to protect a child from abuse. Father or Mother, the courts will give custody to the parent who is abusing the child, only to profit. If the courts would listen to the children, the cases would move quickly, and the children's lives wouldn't be destroyed. BUT, to ignore child safety, the courts know that the protective parent, Father or Mother, will keep expecting truth and justice to prevai, guaranteeing many years of money rolling into the courts. I also agree about Glenn's group. He has lost sight of the real issues. He is jaded by financial gain, much as anyone who pits profit over protection. Why some parents feel that they have the "right" to abuse their children, is beyond me. Just look at the numerous different posts for Judges in Family Law, and they are all the same. People complaining that the Judges are corrupt, that the child is in danger and no one is presenting the evidence that one of the parents is abusive, or the courts will just ignore it. We need a reality check here in America. People are out of control, and there are parents abusing their children everywhere. Mr. Sacks seems to think that this is a falsehood, and only used by mother's. Then I have to ask, why are children dying at the hands of the parent? Why is there such a rise in Familicides? We see only a mere fraction of murders on t.v. because the reality is too harsh. People would rather ban together and save the polar bears.

          and finally:

          Wake up Grandma, that is the biggest load of c r a p. That is exactally what Glenn Sacks and Fathers rights groups want the world to think, ONLY for the purpose of making money. Glenn is not doing this for any other reason than to profit, and all those parents that support him or groups like his, are being manipulated.

          Good father's, concerned father's, protective father's like post 2, don't have custody, BECAUSE they are trying to PROTECT A CHILD FROM ABUSE.

          BUT that is no different from the thousands of protective mothers that are losing custody daily. You need to research, before you jump on the band waggon. Glenn's group has made ANY parent looking to say "MY CHILD IS BEING ABUSED" a liar.FATHER OR MOTHER. Therefore, the child will be placed with the abuser, so the court and their cohorts can profit. So can Glenn. Any parent can say, "alienation" to get away with abuse, and the courts say, "cool, we can run this case into the ground now".

          You said it before, your ex daughter in law is abusive, and sounds like your son doesn't have custody. The reality for any protective parent, is that there is NO protection any more. The lies are a profit center.

          NO CHILDREN ARE BEING PROTECTED FROM ABUSE. THIS IS MERELY A PROFIT CENTER FOR ANYONE WHO IS INVOLVED.

          Courts are being paid by Father's rights groups, by minors counsels and others favorite appointees' to give custody to the abuser. THAT'S IT. Period.

          This has nothing to do with reuniting children with their fathers. It has nothing to do with getting to the bottom of an abuse allegation. This has nothing to do with truth and justice.

          TRUTH WOULD BE LESS LUCRATIVE

          Fathers have Rights, Children’s Rights, Fathers kill custody battle fathers abuse and kill families, Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) Stuart Showalter Neo Nazi-Fathers Rights Advocate-Abusers Rights Advocate Glenn Sacks-Abusers Advocate,Right Wing Terrorist- Fathers Rights. Warren Farrell, Mike J Murphy, Jeremy Swanson, Mark K Godbey, Donald Tenn, Stan Rains, Richard A. Gardner coined the term, Parental Alienation Syndrome

          We'd Like To Give Fathers Their Rights Back, But First We Need to Figure Out Who Took Them Away

          We'd Like To Give Fathers Their Rights Back, But First We Need to Figure Out Who Took Them Away

          I am always so excited when Barbara Kay has an article published. She is so truthful and factual in her support of father's rights. Let's take a look:

          We have British Columbia's first review of family law in B.C. since the Family Relations Act came into force more than thirty years ago. Their July "White Paper on Family Relations Act Reform" (accepting submissions until Oct. 8) contains progressive draft legislation and policy proposals: It recommends stepping away from courts and the adversarial model in order to "adopt a conflict prevention approach to family law disputes" and urges making "children's best interests the only consideration in parenting disputes."
          Damn this is really groundbreaking. I am totally impressed that it took 30 years to come forward with this information. I mean, who knew that children's best interests should be so exclusively focused on?
          Next up is the Green Party's unequivocal adoption of a policy of equal parenting at their August convention. By my reckoning that means every single federal party is on board with the idea that both parents have the right to maintain a strong, loving bond with their children, established through credible sociological research as necessitating 40% of the time with children beyond infancy.

          Read more »

          Fathers have Rights, Children’s Rights, Fathers kill custody battle fathers abuse and kill families, Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) Stuart Showalter Neo Nazi-Fathers Rights Advocate-Abusers Rights Advocate Glenn Sacks-Abusers Advocate,Right Wing Terrorist- Fathers Rights. Warren Farrell, Mike J Murphy, Jeremy Swanson, Mark K Godbey, Donald Tenn, Stan Rains, Richard A. Gardner coined the term, Parental Alienation Syndrome

          Fathers Aren't Necessary: Finally Getting Off the Patriarchal Bullshit Bandwagon

          Fathers Aren't Necessary: Finally Getting Off the Patriarchal Bullshit Bandwagon

          Not many people will argue against the necessity of having a father in one's life. We have been so ingrained to accept this as a fact that to challenge this assertion would seem absurd. Everyone from from religious persons to psychologists will tell you how important a father is in a child's development. But they have been lying. It has been a social control mechanism. Ohh, but get ready for the backlash...men don't like being told that they aren't important, and the women who support these notions, love to support these men (meaning, they, the women, will be angry, too)!

          Yesterday's article on CNN entitled, Kids of lesbians have fewer behavioral problems, study suggests, is sure to have "them" screaming mad:

          A nearly 25-year study concluded that children raised in lesbian households were psychologically well-adjusted and had fewer behavioral problems than their peers.

          The study, published Monday in the journal Pediatrics, followed 78 lesbian couples who conceived through sperm donations and assessed their children's well-being through a series of questionnaires and interviews...

          Children from lesbian families rated higher in social, academic and total competence. They also showed lower rates in social, rule-breaking, aggressive problem behavior.

          Ouch! Kinda tramples on the male ego...at least those in the fathers' rights camps...the ones that think single mother households are such a nasty infection, feminism is evil, and welfare lets women birth unlimited babies while replacing/eliminating the man. *eye roll*

          But as I said, there are women who will be upset as well:

          Wendy Wright, president of the Concerned Women for America, a group that supports biblical values, questioned the legitimacy of the findings from a study funded by gay advocacy groups.

          "That proves the prejudice and bias of the study," she said. "This study was clearly designed to come out with one outcome -- to attempt to sway people that children are not detrimentally affected in a homosexual household."

          Wright questioned the objectivity of Gartrell's research, saying the author can "cherry pick people who are involved and the info they release."

          "In essence, this study claims to purport that children do better when raised by lesbians," she said...

          Studies have shown that children thrive having both a mother and a father, Wright said.

          "You have to be a little suspicious of any study that says children being raised by same-sex couples do better or have superior outcomes to children raised with a mother and father," she said. "It just defies common sense and reality."

          Well, Wendy, unfortunately, we'd have to pull a hell of a lot of studies off the market for bias related to funding. In fact, we should probably stop letting the government give out grant monies for all these "fatherhood demonstration" projects...and while we are at it, pull money from religious groups as well. To which studies are you referring, Wendy? What were theirfunding sources? And why shouldn't we be suspicious of studies regarding heterosexual, married persons? Not applying equal skepticism just defies commons sense and reality. If you really want to know about funding and bias, see the Let's Get Honest blog.

          And we also have a recent article entitled, Are Fathers Necessary?, which begins by talking about Barack Obama, who we already know to have some serious psychological issues regarding fatherhood (see Obama and His Fathercentricism):

          There’s only one problem: none of this is proven. In the February issue of the Journal of Marriage and Family, Judith Stacey, a professor of sociology at New York University, and Timothy Biblarz, a demographer from the University of Southern California, consolidated the available data on the role of gender in child rearing. As Stacey and Biblarz point out, our ideas of what dads do and provide are based primarily on contrasts between married-couple parents and single-female parents: an apples-to-oranges exercise that conflates gender, sexual orientation, marital status, and biogenetic relationships in ways that a true comparison of parent gender—one that compared married gay-male couples or married lesbian couples to married heterosexuals, or single fathers to single mothers—would not. Most of the data fail to distinguish between a father and the income a father provides, or between the presence of a father and the presence of a second parent, regardless of gender.

          So, the conclusion, once again, is that gender is irrelevant. Children do well when they have the emotional and financial support of whomever raises them (which still happens to be mothers, you know. I mean, this could change if men continued to increase their roles, beginning in infancy, but with women still being the ones bearing the pregnancy, and having the lactating breasts, it can be so damn hard to break this!) Damn, is this so hard to understand? How much more money must be spent covering this same shit?