"Children Taken By the Family Courts" Quilt Project

Battered Women, Abused Children, and Child Custody: A National Crisis

The Battered Mothers Custody Conference

Visit www.batteredmotherscustodyconference.org for additional information,hotel reservations, and conference registration.

"Children Taken By the Family Courts" Quilt Project

The Conference has hosted a community quilt entitled "Children Taken by the Family Courts" since 2007. A short news clip showing the quilt at the 2009 conference is available online at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_qh-jX9qGk .

The quilt is modeled after the AIDS quilt that was started in 1987 and that has since grown tremendously, gaining wide publicity for the cause of combating AIDS and HIV infection.

We are asking mothers who have lost physical custody of their children through family or divorce court proceedings to create a 1.5’ by 3’ fabric panel to commemorate their child(ren).  Panels can be made before the conference and brought or mailed for inclusion in the quilt (see address below).  We will be providing some sewing materials and other necessities so that mothers can work on their panels during the weekend of the conference. Mothers do NOT need to attend the conference in order to have their panel included in the quilt. Complete instructions for creating and mailing panels are below.

Please display the following on the front of your panel:

The first name(s) and last initial(s) of the child(ren) of whom you lost custody as a result of family or divorce court proceedings.

The child(ren)’s date of birth and the county and state of the court system through which you lost custody.

The month and year you lost custody of your child(ren).

Any drawings, artwork, or items that make the panel meaningful to you.

On the back of your finished (backed and hemmed) panel, in an inconspicuous place (one that does not show through to the front) please write YOUR name, phone number, and e-mail address. Please also safety-pin a note to the panel with this information.

Write a statement

Please also take the time to write a statement about your child(ren) and briefly describe how you lost custody. Please include your name, e-mail address and phone number on this statement.

INSTRUCTIONS FOR MAKING PANELS

Your design can be vertical or horizontal, but the finished, hemmed panel should be 1.5 feet by 3 feet (45 cm x 90 cm).

The fabric can be traditional quilting material found at any fabric or craft store, or can be made up of scraps pieced together to meet the size requirements.

Batting for the panels is not necessary, but backing made of sturdy fabric is needed to help keep panels clean when they are laid out on the ground. It also helps retain the shape of the fabric.

When you cut your 2 pieces of fabric (panel front and the backing), leave an extra 2 inches on each side for a hem. Please sew your panel and backing pieces together, seams inside (like you are making a pillow), or hem them so that there are no raw seams on the outside. Hand sewing is fine if you don’t have access to a sewing machine. Please just do whatever you are able to do.

You may use most techniques and or embellishments, as long as they are secured well, including but not limited to: appliqué, piecing, embroidery, fabric markers, fabric paints, stenciling, beading, ribbons, sequins, or buttons (see descriptions below). Remember that the quilt will be folded and unfolded every time it is displayed, so durability is crucial. Since glue deteriorates with time, it is best to sew things to the panel.

Appliqué: Sew fabric, letters and small mementos onto the background fabric. Do not rely on glue - it won't last.

Paint: Brush on textile paint or color-fast dye, or use an indelible ink pen. Please don't use "puffy" paint; it's too sticky.

Stencils: Trace your design onto the fabric with a pencil, lift the stencil, then use a brush to apply textile paint or indelible markers.

Collage: Make sure that whatever materials you add to the panel won't tear the fabric (avoid glass and sequins for this reason), and be sure to avoid very bulky objects.

Sending in your panel:

If you will be attending the Battered Mothers Custody Conference, you can work on your panel over the weekend of the conference.  Some guidance and materials will be provided; you also are encouraged to bring materials with you.

If you will not be attending the conference, please ship your finished panel (make sure to use adequate protective waterproof packing material) to:

BMCC V

26 Purtell Avenue

Latham, New York 12110

Contact: mhannah413@aol.com

Thank you!

Dr. Gardner's ghost still haunts Rhode Island -- The Father of Parental Alienation

Dr. Gardner's ghost still haunts Rhode Island

By Anne Grant (about the author)

Dr. Richard A. Gardner by CincinnatiPAS.com

As Judge Haiganush R. Bedrosian becomes Chief of Family Court, it is time we banished the ghost of Dr. Richard Gardner, whose coercive tactics in Rhode Island courtrooms have been haunting families traumatized by domestic abuse.

Victims of terror do not present well in court. They are tense, emotional and understandably outraged. On the opposing side, tyrannical controllers can be calm and charming litigants, confident in the damage they have inflicted. Their lawyers, who are often accomplished bullies in their own right, tell astounding lies calculated to trigger a full display of symptoms in the victims.

Psychiatrist Richard A. Gardner designed a stealth weapon in 1985 that he called "Parental Alienation Syndrome." A domestic-violence-denier, Gardner testified for hundreds of fathers and argued that mothers had "alienated" their children against them. Gardner also wrote that sexual relations between parents and children were natural. He told filmmaker Garland Waller that children who report abuse by their fathers should be threatened with a beating. He committed suicide in 2003, but his ghost still haunts our courtrooms. Here are three examples from cases I have been following:

In 2004, Warwick police charged a Family Court deputy sheriff with felony domestic violence when they found his girlfriend handcuffed in their kitchen with a broken jaw and eye socket. Already entrenched in litigation, the deputy sheriff was an often-unruly defendant in the same courtroom where he once kept order. He demanded custody of his ten-year-old daughter, who was terrified of him.

In the corridor during a break, David M. Tassoni, assistant to Chief Judge Jeremiah S. Jeremiah, Jr., told me he was searching for a psychologist who "understood parental alienation." Tassoni found Lori Meyerson, PhD, in a cramped country office and invited her to serve at Family Court, where she testified that the deputy sheriff was a "happy, calm and level person." She had never visited either parent's home when she recommended giving the father sole custody. General Magistrate John J. O'Brien, Jr., praised Meyerson's work and declared this case to be "as close as you can get to parental alienation."

Tassoni told me he was working with Judge Bedrosian and a joint committee from the Court and the Bar Association on a training program to qualify guardians ad litem.  Their 2004 course and manual devoted an entire section to Gardner's theory of parental alienation.

Attorney Lise M. Iwon, who is now president of the Rhode Island Bar Association, helped teach that course, though she did not follow its guidelines in writing her report as guardian ad litem in another case. A three-and-a-half-year-old had protested behavior she described as her father's "sausage games" on days they spent alone. A pediatrician's office reported this to DCYF, who ordered the father out of the home. A few months later, the mother filed for divorce.

I asked why Attorney General Patrick C. Lynch had failed to convene a grand jury. He considered the child too young to be believed. Neither DCYF nor the AG used available technology to record this child's "excited utterances" in order to meet standards of evidence. They made no video of her reportedly vivid "reenactment" of an assault. No jury saw the graphic portrait she drew of her father.

Iwon succeeded in getting the girl and her older sister removed from an excellent mother and home. After sixteen months in state custody, the court gave the younger girl to her father and moved the older one from a shelter to a foster home, all at state expense. Iwon's course of action suggested that a Gardner-defense was underway. Like Tassoni's efforts on behalf of the deputy sheriff, Iwon sought psychiatric examiners, and found a pliable group in Massachusetts, where psychologist Bernice Kelly, PsyD, wrote that Iwon, herself, had suggested the possibility of "parental alienation."

In 2007, Kelly's report to the court listed Gardner's "eight symptoms" of alienation. She seemed unaware that the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges had identified this as "junk science" the year before. NCJFCJ had warned judges to strike any report referring to parental alienation from the record because it failed to meet standards of evidence.

This year, as the American Psychological Association prepares to publish the Fifth Edition of itsDiagnostic and Statistical Manual, its committee has steadfastly resisted pressure to elevate "parental alienation" to scientific credibility.

Yet Blue Cross and Blue Shield apparently reimburses providers for parental alienation "therapy." In 2007, psychologist Peter J. Kosseff, PhD, testified in Rhode Island that his court-ordered efforts to forcibly "reconcile" two teenagers with their father were not what Kosseff considered "therapeutic." Nevertheless, he billed Anthem Blue Cross and Blue Shield in Connecticut for "miscellaneous medical service" and got paid for those sessions--though they ended badly when the 14-year-old daughter suffered a breakdown and spent ten days at Bradley Hospital, costing the insurer many thousands more.

How long will the ghost of Dr. Gardner haunt Rhode Island's children? I am confident that Chief Judge Bedrosian does not share Gardner's pro-pedophile views. She is now in a position to end his ghostly reign in Rhode Island and to promote the highest standards of evidence in Family Court's handling of custody cases.

But one branch of government is not enough. Will Governor Lincoln Chafee demand thorough reform at the Department of Children, Youth and Families? The General Assembly has mandated that DCYF must, in 2011, start the process toward accreditation.

Will Attorney General Peter Kilmartin use technology and convene grand juries to examine evidence of sex crimes by family members against young children? (Two of the fathers above acknowledged that they were sexually assaulted in childhood, one by his father and the other by his grandfather.)

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At 64, I spend my life with my best friend, Phil West. (When marriage can be this good, why isn't it legal for everyone?) We are both retired United Methodist pastors who value what we learned in the Church and have moved on to new kinds of (more...)

Children who have suffered from domestic abuse need all three branches of government to work together and unequivocally banish Dr. Gardner's ghost from Rhode Island. 

Anne Grant was executive director of Rhode Island's largest shelter for battered women and their children from 1988 to 1996. There she learned how family court helps batterers control their families after divorce. She writes several blogs on domestic abuse custody cases, and contributed a chapter on Rhode Island to Domestic Violence, Abuse, and Child Custody: Legal Strategies and Policy Issues(Civic Research Institute, 2010).

Woman punched unconscious during child custody dispute

 http://www.mercurynews.com/breaking-news/ci_16934218?nclick_check=1

WALNUT CREEK -- Police Tasered a man who allegedly punched his ex-wife in the face during a child custody exchange and then fought officers who tried to arrest him.

Don West, 50, of Walnut Creek, was booked at the County Jail in Martinez on suspicion of domestic violence and making criminal threats after being evaluated at a hospital.

The assault took place at 5:50 p.m. in a municipal parking lot near a pub in the 1500 block of North Broadway, police Sgt. Lanny Edwards said.

Several people called 911 after seeing West argue with the victim over the custody exchange of two children, before knocking her unconscious with a punch.

West ran away, but returned later, police said. When officers tried to arrest him, he fought back and resisted arrest.

The victim was taken to a hospital with minor injuries.

Roman Gokhman covers public safety. Contact him at 925-945-4780. Follow him at Twitter.com/RomiTheWriter.

A LETTER FROM SANTA CLAUS

A LETTER FROM SANTA CLAUS

I received this letter last night…

Dear Virginia,

I am writing to you to let you know that Santa is not ignoring your most fervent request this Christmas, nor has Santa ignored these same requests for the past years. It’s simply that Santa can not give you what you want, because Family law and the Judges who govern these courts have deemed that your daddy does have the right to abuse you.  He is allowed to beat you, break your bones, torture, have sex with you, sodomize, molest or do anything else that he wants.

Please Virginia, don’t be angry or hate your mommy because she is not protecting you.  For the same rules and judges that allow your father to abuse you will force your mother out of your life if she objects.  So, your mommy can do nothing but hold your hand, wipe your tears and cry silently by herself while she sits helplessly by as your daddy continues to hurt you.  For, if she does object the chances are good that a Family Court Judge will deem her unfit or crazy and force her into only seeing you under supervised conditions.  During this time you will live with your daddy and he will have carte blanche to continue his abuse.  I repeat, Virginia, it is the Family Court system and the judges who govern over them that allow these atrocities to be committed against the children.

Also, Virginia, do not feel guilty when you are forced to lie to these same judges and claim that your mommy is a bad person.  Mommy and Santa understand that you have no choice.  For these same judges will send you home with daddy after you testify or talk to them and mommy and Santa know what daddy will do if you were to tell the truth.  Mommy and Santa understand that you are just trying to survive this horrible childhood of abuse and we still believe that you are a good girl.

Virginia, Santa is so sorry that he can not help you.  Perhaps next year, you should send your letter to the leader of an influential government and ask that he, or she, take a dramatic step in making changes in the Family Court system. Ask that these same judges that are sending countless numbers of children to live with fathers who abuse, beat, rape, sodomize and even kill them to be held accountable.  Ask that when a protective parent fights for their child’s safety that they not be automatically deemed an alienator.  Ask that the judges be forced to recognize that when an abusive parent/father fights for sole custody that they will win in approximately 70% of the cases.  Ask that when pictures and statements of abuse are provided that the family court judges be forced to acknowledge this evidence, instead of refusing to as they send the children to live in horrific circumstances.  For it is clear to Santa that these judges do not care that an average of 2 children a week are being murdered while many more are being subjugated to unspeakable abuse.

So, Virginia, in closing, Santa says that he is so sorry that he can not give you the gift that you most desire.  However, Santa will pray for year in this coming year.  Santa will pray that you receive one less beating, that you have one less broken bone, that Daddy visits your bedroom at night at least one less time in 2011. Finally, Santa will pray that you live to see the next year, because Santa knows that many children will not live to see 2012, for their daddy’s will kill them.

I am so sorry,

Santa Claus

APA GUIDELINES FOR CHILD CUSTODY EVALUATIONS IN FAMILY LAW PROCEEDINGS

Courtesy RightsForMothers

This is new (December, 2010) from the American Psychological Association.  I want to get this out there to help moms…I’ll reserve my commentary to the comments section below.

Introduction

Family law proceedings encompass a broad range of issues, including custody, maintenance, support, valuation, visitation, relocation, and termination of parental rights. The following guidelines address what are commonly termed child custodyevaluations, involving disputes over decision making, caretaking, and access in the wake of marital or other relationship dissolution. The goal of these guidelines is to promote proficiency in the conduct of these particular evaluations. This narrowed focus means that evaluations occurring in other contexts (e.g., child protection matters) are not covered by these guidelines. In addition, the guidelines acknowledge a clear distinction between the forensic evaluations described in this document and the advice and support that psychologists provide to families, children, and adults in the normal course of psychotherapy and counseling.

Although some states have begun to favor such terms as parenting plan, parenting time, or parental rights and responsibilities over the term custody (American Law Institute, 2000, pp. 131–132), the substantial majority of legal authorities and scientific treatises still refer to custody when addressing the resolution of decision-making, caretaking, and access disputes. In order to avoid confusion and to ensure that these guidelines are utilized as widely as possible, these guidelines apply the term custody to these issues generically, unless otherwise specified. It is no longer the default assumption that child custody proceedings will produce the classic paradigm of sole custodian versus visiting parent. Many states recognize some form of joint or shared custody that affirms the decision-making and caretaking status of more than one adult. The legal system also recognizes that the disputes in question are not exclusively marital and therefore may not involve divorce per se. Some parents may never have been married and perhaps may never even have lived together. In addition, child custody disputes may arise after years of successful co-parenting when one parent seeks to relocate for work related or other reasons. These guidelines apply the term parents generically when referring to persons who seek legal recognition as sole or shared custodians.

Parents may have numerous resources at their disposal, including psychotherapy, counseling, consultation, mediation, and other forms of conflict resolution. When parents agree to a child custody arrangement on their own—as they do in the overwhelming majority (90%) of cases (Melton, Petrila, Poythress, & Slobogin, 2007)—there may be no dispute for the court to decide. However, if parties are unable to reach such an agreement, the court must intervene in order to allocate decision making, caretaking, and access, typically applying a “best interests of the child” standard in determining this restructuring of rights and responsibilities (Artis, 2004; Elrod, 2006; Kelly, 1997).

Psychologists render a valuable service when they provide competent and impartial opinions with direct relevance to the “psychological best interests” of the child (Miller, 2002). The specific nature of psychologists’ involvement and the potential for misuse of their influence have been the subject of ongoing debate (Grisso, 1990, 2005; Krauss & Sales, 1999, 2000; Melton et al., 2007).

The acceptance and thus the overall utility of psychologists’ child custody evaluations are augmented by demonstrably competent forensic practice and by consistent adherence to codified ethical standards.  These guidelines are informed by the American Psychological Association’s (APA’s) “Ethical Principles of Psychologists and Code of Conduct” (hereinafter referred to as the Ethics Code; APA, 2002). The term guidelines refers to statements that suggest or recommend specific professional behavior, endeavors, or conduct for psychologists. Guidelines differ from standards in that standards are mandatory and may be accompanied by an enforcement mechanism. Guidelines are aspirational in intent. They are intended to facilitate the continued systematic development of the profession and to help facilitate a high level of practice by psychologists. Guidelines are not intended to be mandatory or exhaustive and may not be applicable to every professional situation. They are not definitive, and they are not intended to take precedence over the judgment of psychologists.

Read more ›

Linda Marie Sacks Press Release: Mothers of America lose custody too Abusers

Press Release          12/22/10

A Florida Mother asks Court to Certify Questions to Florida Supreme Court/ National Crisis in the Family Courts

 

                                       Mothers of America…..if she can lose custody….any one can…….

A  “squeaky clean” mother, Linda Marie Sacks, in her effort to be re-united with her children, asks the Fifth District Court of Appeals to certify 3 questions of national importance to the Florida Supreme Court.  Mothers all over the U.S. are losing custody of their children, and all their contact is terminated or they are placed indefinitely on Supervised Visitation, by the trial court with no case plan and reunification plan.

After 3 years/9 months of only supervised visitation,(74 hours total) with her children, a Daytona Beach Mom is asking the Fifth District Court of Appeals to certify 3 questions of great national importance.

                       1. If a parent makes a good faith allegation of abuse, with documented evidence,

                           in an effort to protect her children, should that parent be deprived of physical

                           custody of her children, or have their contact supervised, indefinitely without a

                           case  plan, or reunification plan provided by the trial court?

                        2. Does a state court violate the First, Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments when it

                            deprives a parent of physical custody, and limits that parents contact to Supervised

                            Visitation with her children, for taking the reasonable action based upon a belief,

                            supported by facts that her children need protection from abuse?

                        3. Does a state court’s custody decision that deprives a parent of  access  to her

                            children  indefinitely, unless supervised, without a finding of unfitness by clear and

                            convincing  evidence, which effectively terminates a party’s parental rights,

                            violate the Fifth and Fourteen Amendments?

Her daughters in April 2007 told her..”Mommy fight for us and do something every day to get us back and don’t ever stop”, so every day she has kept that promise and now will go to the Florida Supreme Court, and then on to the U.S. Supreme Court in Washington D.C. After spending $140,000  to do undo the unjust  custody ruling by the trial court of Judge Shawn L. Briese, she  is  now more determined than ever, and has taken up the legal challenge on her own as a pro se litigant.

The Fifth District Court of Appeals on Dec. 7, 2010, denied Mothers  2^nd appeal so she is now asking that the Florida Supreme Court address this crisis in the family courts. Family courts are in crisis and Mothers are sadly losing custody of their children, and all they did was ask the “official avenues”….judges, police, DCF for help to protect their children from documented abuse, and  they are losing custody. Family court judges are dismissing, ignoring, and suppressing documented evidence  abuse and the abusers are getting custody.

The ABA.. American Bar Association states that Batterers ask the family courts for SOLE custody, and are successful 70% of the time. Imagine…a parent with documented evidence of Domestic Violence, and Child Physical and/ or Sexual Abuse to the children…. And the fathers are able to get SOLE physical custody, and Mothers, known as “protective parents” are sadly placed on supervised visitation or all contact with their children is terminated.

The Florida NOW (National Organization for Women) Ad Hoc Family Law Committee has a brochure on this national crisis.

www.nowfoundation.org/issues/family/

If you think…oh that could never happen to me….that’s what this Mother  thought…and as “squeaky clean”, class Mom, soccer Mom, car pool Mom,  community volunteer, with no drugs, no abuse, no alcohol, just a loving, caring, primary care giver to her  children………..she lost custody in a hearing that the Fifth District court of Appeals Case 5D07-1682 said that her constitutional rights were violated…and the hearing to determine custody on March 9, 2007, should never have taken place in the trial court of Judge Shawn L. Briese.  The Fifth District Court of  Appeals  REVERSED and REMANDED the issue of custody back to Judge Briese for a “Retrial of the custody of the minor children”.  Judge Briese  refused to be disqualified from the hearing on child custody and refused to  remove the unjust “supervised visitation” order.

This national crisis is affecting 39 states………..

A national conference will take place in Albany NY…Jan 7, 8 , 9, 2011 ..addressing this  crisis in the family courts. For more information on this conference:           www.batteredmotherscustodyconference.org

Advocates are asking for a federal investigation into the corruption in the family courts and  congressional hearings to address this national crisis…children are being forced to live with an abusive parent….and safe, protective parents are losing custody.

For more information:

www.centerforjudicialexcellence.com

www.justiceforchildren.org

www.protectiveparent.com

www.taliacarner.com

www.leadershipcouncil.org

www.dvleap.org

www.stopfamilyviolence.org

www.juliafletcher.wordpress.com

www.americanmotherspoliticalparty.org

www.lizlibary.org

www.batteredmotherscustodyconference.org

www.randijames.com

Happy Birthday Rikki Dombrowski... We are so proud of you. by Aunt Sabrina Dombrowski-- Belgium

“Just a little message for Rikki in Topeka, Kansas USA- because this Sunday December 12th is her birthday. "All your family in Belgium wish you a Happy Birthday!”

 

More here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijQkw_ZVoKk&feature=player_embedded

Rikki, Granny, Mom—Don’t Give Up—Hope, Love, Power and Enlightenment

Granny died and her grand-daughter was not allowed to attend her funeral.

This tribute video was made-- for three generations lost---destroyed by the Family Courts.

Granny, Mom and Rikki three hearts united across the universe and above and beyond the Shawnee County Courthouse MAFIA.

Rikki Dombrowski-- Run Like The Wind

http://rightsformothers.com/2010/08/2...

"DANGEROUS" CLAUDINE DOMBROWSKI ATTENDS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RALLY: DOES SHE FACE JUDICIAL RETALIATION AGAIN?

http://rightsformothers.com/2010/10/2...

Hope Love Power and enlightenment

 

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sun on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

 

When you awaken in the morning's hush,

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

 

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there; I do not sleep.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there; I did not die.

 

by, Mary Elizabeth Frye

History of the Battered Mothers Custody Conference

The Eighth Annual Battered Mothers Custody Conference

http://www.batteredmotherscustodyconference.org/

Register Online

January 7th, 8th, and 9th, 2011
Friday evening 6:00 p.m. - Sunday afternoon

Source Barry Golstein Times Up

By Barry Goldstein

Only Mo Hannah could make a frigid Albany weekend in January of 2004 the place to be for several dozen protective moms, supportive professionals and activists who came for the first Battered Mothers Custody Conference. Many of the attendees had to leave their rooms in the middle of the night wearing robes and pajamas after fire alarms were triggered by frozen pipes, but at the conference there was a warmth and caring all of us badly needed.

Although I had been part of the domestic violence movement since 1983, I was new to the national movement as my book SCARED TO LEAVE AFRAID TO STAY had only come out in 2002. I was excited to meet and work with national celebrities like Lundy Bancroft, Joan Zorza and Richard Ducote and Garland Waller. Lundy has been to all eight conferences and is such an exciting speaker because he provides information that could be used to totally change the broken system. Joan has been one of the national leaders in the movement for over thirty years. I had corresponded with her prior to the first conference when she reviewed my book in Domestic Violence Report. I met her at the first conference and she quickly became a friend and mentor. Richard Ducote is a dynamic speaker who attended the first several conferences and led the Truth Commission. At the first conference, Garland Waller played her award- winning documentary, SMALL JUSTICE which was the first time I saw it. She has participated in all of the conferences and has also shown her documentary about Richard Gardner.

This was the first time a large group of protective moms came together, shared their stories and understood they were not alone. It helped everyone to understand the pattern of mistakes the courts were making. Surprisingly there were few representatives from the domestic violence movement and many mothers complained their local battered women's shelters had been less than helpful. Nevertheless the moms were excited by the support they gave each other and from the professionals who came to help their cause.

Dr. Mo Therese Hannah is a psychologist, but that didn't save her from a traumatic experience in the broken custody courts. She only barely escaped with custody of her children and recognized the courts badly need reforming. Mo networked with other protective moms and eventually created the Battered Mothers Conference with her co-chair Liliane H. Miller. Without the tremendous efforts of Mo there is no Battered Mothers Custody Conference and the protective mothers movement would have been greatly delayed.

The second Battered Mothers Custody Conference was particularly exciting because of the presence of my personal heroes, the Courageous Kids and parts of the conference were taped for the PBS Documentary BREAKING THE SILENCE: CHILDREN'S STORIES.

The Courageous Kids are young adults who as children were ensnared by the broken custody court system and forced to live with abusive fathers because of the common mistakes these courts routinely make. They came together under the auspices of the California Protective Parents Association led by Karen Anderson and Connie Valentine. These young men and women described the unspeakable torment they were subjected to by their abusers and the denial of a relationship with their safe, protective mothers. Their stories were powerful because they had a moral authority none of the rest of us could match. The courts, after all were supposed to be working to protect these children and instead were the instrument of their torture.

We were especially excited about BREAKING THE SILENCE: CHILDREN'S STORIES because it would create widespread national exposure to the crisis in the custody court system. I have long believed that if the public knew how often courts ruin children's lives and subject them to unspeakable trauma they would not permit it to continue. Unfortunately, the abuser groups also understood the documentary could undermine their ability to maintain what they believe is their privilege to control their partners and launched a vicious attack on what was a wonderful documentary. They attacked the film and the producers without even seeing it. We launched a campaign in support of BREAKING THE SILENCE, but PBS caved to the abuser's lobby, limited the showing of the documentary and basically disowned it. BREAKING THE SILENCE has been shown throughout the country at meetings and conferences, but the cowardice of PBS prevented it from being the breakthrough that could have saved more children.

The battered women's movement is a natural ally of the protective mothers movement. After our first conference Mo and I spoke about the importance of working with domestic violence organizations and we reached out to the New York State Coalition, the State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence and other similar groups. As a result of these meetings and the ever more horrendous situation in the courts, domestic violence organizations have become our biggest supporters. Domestic violence advocates are now well represented at the Battered Mothers Custody Conference. Mo and I were invited to lead a workshop and then a separate discussion group at the 2008 NCADV national conference. Rita Smith, Executive Director of the NCADV and other staff have become regular participants at the Battered Mothers conferences and have given us everything we ever asked for. The NCADV invited Mo and I together with Garland Waller and Judge Mike Brigner to present about our book at a plenary session during the 2010 NCADV national conference in Anaheim. This has been a wonderful collaboration that will continue to benefit protective mothers and all of the battered women's movement.

As the movement strengthened, new presenters became regular participants. Searching for Angela Shelton is an award winning movie that created its own movement. When Angela speaks at the Battered Mothers Custody Conference, one minute we are crying the next laughing as she brings an intense emotional connection to the audience. Wendy Murphy is an attorney and former prosecutor whose book AND JUSTICE FOR SOME deeply resonates with protective mothers. Wendy brings a perspective about how women and victims are treated that is missed when we just hear the repeated misinformation in the media. Nancy Erickson was a law professor at New York Law School when I was a student, but we never met until she came to her first Battered Mothers Custody Conference. Since then Nancy has become a friend and colleague and is a contributor to our book and regular speaker at the conferences.

For the fourth annual conference, Mo had the idea of creating a Truth Commission made up of a multi-disciplinary group of leading experts in domestic violence and custody who would listen to the testimony of sixteen protective mothers and use this information together with their knowledge of domestic violence custody cases to make a report about the problems in the custody courts and potential solutions that could prevent the all too common tragedies discussed in the testimony and research.

We listened to the mothers' testimony in front of the conference and then met privately to discuss the issues and prepare the report. While there were a few minor disagreements most of the conclusions and recommendations were unanimous and the atmosphere for the discussions was collegial. The Truth Commission presented its report and discussed it at the conference in front of all the participants. The reaction was supportive and appreciative. We later exchanged drafts by email as we prepared the final written report that can be found on the Internet and in our book.

The Truth Commission Report created a lot of excitement when we released it because it not only exposed the extent of the problem but also provided realistic solutions. One of the people who was impressed by the report was a publisher at Civic Research Institute which produces quality research and other material by and for professionals. She asked Mo Hannah to prepare a book based on the Truth Commission Report and Mo invited me to co-edit the book with her. This became DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ABUSE and CHILD CUSTODY which was published in April of 2010. Many of the experts who present at the Battered Mothers Custody Conference became contributors to the book. We are excited that the book will be available at the upcoming 8th annual conference January 7-9. We will be discussing how to use the research in the book to help win better results in court.

When a woman is living with an abusive partner, she is really living in a pretend world. He will repeatedly hurt her and then deny it or claim she caused him to hurt her. She can't challenge him because it is not safe. One of the important parts of healing once she can leave him is to return to reality and speak about the truth. That is another reason why the court system is so destructive as mothers are repeatedly punished for trying to speak about reality that the courts treat as undermining the children's relationship with the abuser. This dynamic was discussed in THE BATTERER AS PARENT which says one of the best things we can do to help the CHILDREN is to help the mother heal. Nevertheless the courts routinely do the opposite.

This is another reason why the Battered Mothers Custody Conference is so valuable. At least for that one weekend each year, we are among friends, we can speak the truth, the reality may not be pleasant but at least we can escape the pretend world of the courts and the abusers. It is important for protective mothers to know they are not alone. Other wonderful people are going through the same attacks and being pathologized by unqualified "experts."

More than once I have told a story at the Battered Mothers Custody Conference that inspired me to start writing my first book. Three young children complained that their father was physically and sexually abusing them. They told the judge, the CPS caseworker, their attorney and the evaluator what their father did to them. As frequently happens, these professionals whose job it was to protect children decided the mother had brainwashed the children and warned she would lose custody if she didn't stop. Before the first unsupervised visitation could occur, the father was confronted by the baby sitter in the presence of the law guardian. He admitted that he had kissed his daughters on their privates. The law guardian immediately made a motion to stop the visitation which I joined. The judge consulted with the evaluator who said the father showed poor judgment but there was no reason to stop the visitation. During the first visitation the four-year-old was penetrated for the first time. I made a new report to CPS when the judge refused to protect the children based on the father's admission. The judge yelled and screamed at me saying CPS had already investigated the charges. They assigned a new caseworker who did a thorough job this time and found out the father had done even worse than we alleged. They brought charges against the father and he never again had anything but supervised visitation.

After the mother won custody, she invited the new CPS caseworker and myself to a celebratory dinner to thank us for our work. The kids had gifts, but most of all they had a name for us. They called us "believers" because we believed them when all the other professionals failed to do so. I can tell you there is no greater honor than to be called a believer. The 2009 conference took place just days after my license was suspended in retaliation for exposing an abusive judge. I was not sure how I would be received or what my future was and suddenly Mo called me up to the stage and presented me with the Believer award.

I look forward to seeing everyone at the 2011 Battered Mothers Custody Conference in Albany January 7-9. For more information you can check our web site at www.Batteredmotherscustodyconference.org My friend, Ben Atherton-Zeman will be performing at the conference and has created believer bumper stickers. Please come to a place where protective mothers and their children are believed. I don't know what will happen in our work to reform the broken custody court system, but as for me, I'm a believer!

Barry Goldstein is a nationally recognized domestic violence expert, speaker, writer and consultant. He is the co-editor with Mo Therese Hannah of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, ABUSE and CHILD CUSTODY.

Kansas Watch Dog: "Claudine Dombrowski: An abused mom victimized again by the Kansas Courts"

 

Compelling stories from parents and grandparents about problems with placement and removal of children

By Earl Glynn On December 4, 2009

See this video: Claudine Dombrowski Abused Mom Wants Unsupervised Visits with Daughter

Listen to Claudine Dombrowski Testimony to Joint Committee on Children's Issues:

Powered by Podbean.com

 

http://kansas.watchdog.org/2010/compelling-stories-about-problems-with-placement-and-removal-of-children/

Claudine Dombrowski

 

Claudine Dombrowski: An abused mom victimized again by the Kansas Courts

Read details in written statement.

This is an truly incredible story that should never have happened in America.

Parts of the Kansas Judicial system should be disciplined for how it has victimized Ms. Dombrowski, who was an abused mom.

Instead of quotes from the audio, please consult these pages that document Dombrowski’s long and difficult battle to protect her daughter:

• Claudine Dombrowski Photos of Abuse

As you view these photos keep in mind that the court awarded FULL CUSTODY of their daughter to the “man” who did this to Claudine.

• Courts Have Continued Abuse of Manhattan Women, Manhattan Free Press, July 12, 2001.
• Manhattan resident fights custody battle for daughter, Kansas State Collegian, July 26, 2001.

State Rep Bill Otto: “No crime? You haven’t been guilty of anything? This is a court order that says you can’t go to any school functions?”

“I was under court order till 2004 to not even call the police after I was being beaten because … I was not ‘co-parenting’”

Dombrowski: “These friends of the court make recommendations to the judge. The parents … don’t have a right to see these documents. They do this behind closed doors.”

Otto: (To Secretary Jordan): “You have no rights as a parent …?”

Secretary Don Jordan: “This would be something extreme … I’m not familiar with the situation.”

Otto: “Can a judge do that? … Is that legal… ?”

Jordan: “Under the right circumstances … I hesitate to speculate.”

Sen. Roger Reitz: “This is something that only … the judicial system can really answer … It would be helpful … to have someone … representing the judicial system … to give us some ideas how this could happen.”

Dombrowski: “When you are a victim of domestic violence, and suddenly there’s a child involved, the typical …. power of control is that ‘I’ll take your children from you’. They will and they can the way the laws are setup.” …

“I was told that I’m not to talk to my daughter about the violence. That’s why I don’t see her. That’s why I see her supervised. He was criminally convicted. “

“When women try to get away from people who hurt them … I heard somebody say it’s really hard to believe you won’t call the police … I tell people not to contact the police, because as soon as you walk into court with a DV (domestic violence) and children, you’re already cutting your throat. You will lose your children. That’s the way it is right now.”

“… on the 16th of this month I’ll probably go to jail for breaking the gag order and talking about [being the victim of] violence as it relates to my case.”

Reitz: “… someone ought to be able to deal with this in a way that would address her problem. It doesn’t seem like we’ve done the right thing with regards to this little niche of the law.”

Dombrowski: “The criminal convictions are completely tossed aside and they don’t have any bearing on the family court … The eight criminal convictions that my ex had before getting custody of my daughter were completely dropped [in family court]“

Chair Kiegerl: “I cannot believe that abuse is totally ignored. I cannot believe you can prohibit a person from speaking about their own case.”

“The one thing [where] … I disagree with you is abuse should always be reported.”

State Rep Peggy Mast (R-Emporia): “Domestic violence is a control issue. Sexual abuse is a control issue. Is there any correlation between domestic violence and sexual abuse? Why is that not something that is considered when we take someone to [family] court that has a history of domestic violence?”

Dombrowski: “Yes. That is something I’ve asked myself for 16 years. … It comes back to the family court that has a veil of immunity. … They don’t fully understand the impact of the violence. What battered women have … if they report the abuse, then they’re failing to protect their child … if they don’t report the abuse, they’re still failing to protect their child. So, both ways, they’re going to lose their children …”

For anybody who abuses their wife … [from] a 1996 presidential task force … there is a 70% increase that those children will be abused and/or sexually abused after there’s been battery with the mother.

Sen. Oletha Faust-Goudea: “In 2004 …. I talked with the homicide department in Sedgwick County…. During that time there had been 21 homicides in Sedgwick County and 18 were due to domestic violence …”

“A lot of women do make those phone calls and unfortunately, sometimes it ends in their death.” …

“I want to apologize to you for being treated like a pedophile … not being able to go to a music concert.”

“I commend you for what you’re doing.”

Dombrowski: “I have not talked to my daughter in 10 years [except] for the confines of supervised visits. I’m not allowed to talk to her about anything. All she knows is what her dad has told her.”

See this video:  Abused Mom Wants Unsupervised Visits with Daughter

Listen to Claudine Dombrowski:

http://kansaswatchdog.podbean.com/2009/12/04/claudine-dombrowski-an-abused-mom-victimized-again-by-the-kansas-courts/

Therapy With Your Abuser?

Source: The New Randi James Therapy With Your Abuser?

Parental alienation cases are dealing with accusations of physical/sexual violence in the family. Upon divorce, the truth about the abuse is revealed to the court, and is refuted through claims of parental alienation. It is very similar to child sex abuse claims and the legal strategy of false memory syndrome.

According to most state laws, claims of domestic violence must be taken seriously. However, in light of the fact that major children and family organizations have been trained and infiltrated by the fathers' rights groups, the allegations (and real evidence) are ignored.

Abuse can be determine substantiated, unsubstantiated, or false. Very often the case is rendered unsubstantiated--which does NOT mean NOT true.

The question is, is therapy WITH your [alleged] abuser humane? Parental alienation theorists believe so.

Labels: child sexual abuse, CPS, DHHS, ethical violations, parental alienation fraud,psychological fraud

 

The abuser will try to manipulate the therapist, and try to gain sympathy. He may try to control the appointments, and be unreasonable as possible...and if you don't adhere to his demands, it will be portrayed as your fault or your unwillingness to participate.

In session, the abuser may try to trigger you, threaten you or outright lie. The threats may not be obvious to the therapist, he could make innuendos or refer to past events. Or use the children to send messages to you, to intimidate you or simply manipulate the children to his bidding.

Common tactics for an abuser: make the victim appear to be mentally unstable, uncooperative or that she is the one causing the abuse.

There is no way real therapy can be conducted in this environment. You have to watch everything you say and do. Hide your emotions. Appear not to be afraid or anxious or upset. Even coming to a session with documentation or a witness may work against you. And in truth, no competent therapist would ask a victim to be in session with an abuser, especially without alot of individual therapy and a safety plan put in place ahead of time.

Kansas -- Domestic violence is on the rise—again- YEAR 2010--

Kansas -- Domestic violence is on the rise

"A KBI report issued this fall indicates 23,864 domestic violence incidents were reported to law enforcement in 2009, up 11 percent from 2008 and the highest number since the bureau began releasing the statistic in 1992." http://cjonline.com/news/local/2010-12-05/domestic_violence_on_the_rise

Just a little message for Rikki Dombrowski in Topeka, Kansas USA- because this Sunday, December 12th is her birthday.

Just a little message for Rikki in Topeka, Kansas USA- because this Sunday December 12th is her birthday.
"All your family in Belgium wish you a Happy Birthday!!!"
"We send to you all our love and we hope to see you a day.
Lots of loves and kissesses. We Love you Rikki!"

Your Family;
-The Dombrowski's -- Belgium
(Aunt Sabrina, Uncle Frederic, Nieces, Nephews, Cousin's, Grandfather, his wife)

******Note:
Please spread this video--- although she is held captive, the www will get to her and she will know how loved she is-- that she is not forgotten and that her family loves her so very much.
Especially her mother Claudine Dombrowski who on December 12, 1994 became a mother-- and knew what unconditional love was truly about.
Six years later she was stolen by the family courts--given to her Mothers abuser Hal Richardson and has been kept away from her mother for now 11 years.

http://www.stopfamilyviolence.org/pag...
"You can not chain the wind-- no matter how hard you try."  Fly high-- Fly Free.

All over the Nation their is a CRISIS in the Family Courts—Abusers get Custody

*******

Rikki, Granny, Mom ,apos;Dont give up apos; Love power ... - Google Video - Motore di ricerca video Truveo

Child Custody PSA - End Court Ordered Child Abuse

Battered Mothers Custody Conference Interviews

Category:

News & Politics

Tags:

• Rikki Dombrowski
• Belgium Family
• Topeka
• KS
• Maternal Deprivation
• Hal Richardson
• M. Jill Dykes

Where’s a pair of ruby slippers when you need them?

MAMALIBERTY'S WEBLOG

Where’s a pair of ruby slippers when you need them?

by mamaliberty in activism
Tags: abused children, abusive men, battered women, corruption, Court, court whores, Don Hoffman, family court corruption, Judge David Debenham, M. Jill Dykes, misogynists, mother rights, parental alienation, protective parent, Rape, restraining orders, woman haters

IF ONLY CLAUDINE DOMBROWSKI AND HER PRECIOUS CHILD COULD CLICK THEIR HEELS AND GET THE HELL OUTTA KANSUCKS!

http://kmfcj.blogspot.com/

A Kansas Judge consistently has shown how unethical Family Courts are. The story is simple, a mother, Claudine Dombrowski, loses custody to her abuser and the Family Court think that she will go away. They hope she will give up. They are counting on her shutting up. But there is a problem with that, this woman has friends. She has lots and lots of friends that have gone through the same corruption of Family Courts and unethical Judges, Court Whores and the like. This Judge has gone as far as not allowing this mothers child from attending her loving Grandmothers funeral. This Judge wants to make problems because of a tribute video?

Not on my watch…… You cannot shut us all up Judge….we will not allow you to tarnish the memory of “Granny”….hold us all in contempt…..and watch out for falling houses.

Children and mothers never truly part, bound in the beating of each other's heart. ~ Charlotte Gray

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh

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Comments

1. Rj says:

   February 5, 2009 at 12:25 pm

   You cannot shut us all up Judge

   I wish he would…bastard

2. missingmychild says:

   February 5, 2009 at 12:47 pm

   No, I really think it is the father Hall Richardson and the lawyer Don Huffman that are the problem. When an abusive father gets it in his mind he is going to control the situation to further punish the mother, the greedy slimeball attorney is there to oblige, $$$ rules and ethics get thrown out the window. Buy the appropriate court whores, and whammo, you have a judge turned every time. Sad they are so easily corrupted, at the expense of the children.

   Love the pictures!

3. “No Matter What it Takes, We Will Keep This Boy From His Mom” « Missing My Child says:

   February 9, 2009 at 2:59 am

   [...] Anyone can buy a stable full of Whores of the Court….paid psychological testimony sought by the highest bidder, to drive another parent out the [...]

4. claudine dombrowski says:

   March 19, 2009 at 3:36 pm

   thank you

5. M. Jill Dykes GAL Topeka Kansas Topeka Kansas "Court Appointed Child Abuser" « Battered Mothers-A Human Rights Issue says:

   May 28, 2010 at 5:41 pm

   [...] That is right, you read that right, the court whores are going to make it very difficult for any mother and child relationship.  Therefore until justice is given to Claudine and her child, this blog and others will continue to expose the injustices by Shawnee County and those that profit from it. The winds of change are coming Shawnee…and its a BIG one…watch out for falling houses Jill [...]